My sister became ill and was hospitalized. My sister often speaks ill of others and expresses her emotions impulsively. To be honest, I don’t like her, and I don’t feel like visiting her in the hospital. I hate myself for feeling this way, and I can’t even talk to my husband about it. (Woman, 40s)
Ａ
Each person has their own innate personality. This is especially true for sisters who are close to each other, and they may feel the positive and negative aspects of each other’s personalities very strongly. Furthermore, the inability to comfort and support a sister who is going through a difficult time, even though you know it’s the right thing to do, might be due to a lack of emotional capacity within yourself. When people have a peace of mind, they are able to focus on the positive aspects of others rather than the negative ones. Therefore, let’s start by regaining our composure and cultivating a calm and generous mindset.
The environment that makes this possible is the family environment you live in. Among them, your husband is the person you should share your life with and connect with most deeply. Gather your courage and honestly tell him what’s on your mind, saying something like, “I’m worried about my sister.” Sometimes, instead of just complaining, remember to express your gratitude by saying things like, “Thank you for listening.” When your husband accepts you for who you are, your mind will become much more stable. This will create a sense of peace and allow you to approach your sister with warmth and understanding.
If you can cultivate love for your family, you will be able to empathize with your sister’s feelings as she lies ill in bed. Behind her emotional outbursts, there may be anxiety about her illness and a loneliness that she cannot express in words. By empathizing with these feelings, accepting them, and being there for her, you can deepen your bond with her while maintaining a healthy distance, without being overwhelmed by her words and actions.
Shinji
Gain awareness through the teachings, and strive to build a family environment that lives by the principles.
Gradually and naturally, feelings among each family members will come together; and conversations that comfort each other’s feeling will start to grow.
You will be able to have the movement of your kokoro that is in synce with your unmei; eliminating illnesses, accidents, and disasters.
The kokoro of each family member will always be anchored, and doubtful feelings stemming from anxiety will not emerge.
When you harbor feelings of dislike or avoidance towards someone, those feelings will be conveyed to them even without words. Conversely, a warm heart filled with compassion will also surely reach the other person. People’s hearts resonate with each other like a mirror, and what you think and feel is reflected back; love brings love.
If you find it difficult to love your family members or if you are aware of your own shortcomings, you can certainly work on improving those aspects. Let’s use this experience as a valuable opportunity to elevate our way of life and become someone who can spread love to others.