Acting on the advice of a relative, I underwent a medical examination and was diagnosed with Stage 3 stomach cancer. As I am scheduled to undergo surgery to have my stomach removed, I have taken the precaution of organizing my assets and completing the necessary transfers of ownership, just in case the worst should happen. Living alone as I do, my greatest wish is to avoid becoming a burden to my children. Now, all I can hope for is that the battle ahead will not be too painful. (Male in his 70s)
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Living with an illness is inevitably accompanied by anxiety and uncertainty—whether stemming from daily fluctuations in physical condition or from moments where difficult treatment decisions must be made. However, there is a proven method that enables you to face this challenge with a positive mindset and tap into your own innate healing and recovery powers: confronting the treatment together, as a family, with your kokoro united.
Illness—whether major or minor—is a momentous event that inevitably impacts the lives of the entire family. Rather than viewing it as ‘my problem alone’, it is essential to embrace it as a ‘family problem’ and work together, as one united front, to overcome it. Let us make a point of sharing and discussing everything—from physical condition and circumstances to our thoughts and feelings of the moment. When you truly feel that you are not battling the illness in isolation, but rather alongside your family, you become enveloped in a sense of security that brings stability to your mind. From this place, a vital force for living wells up within you; your body’s natural healing powers are enhanced, and the effectiveness of your medical treatment is significantly improved.
The desire to look out for one’s children is a truly wonderful thing. However, if you hold back out of hesitation—thereby avoiding meaningful engagement—it may well leave both parties with regrets in the future. At the very heart of family ties lies the sentiment: “It is precisely when things are difficult that we want you to lean on us.” You need only to speak candidly—expressing thoughts such as, “I worry that I might be a burden,” or “I feel anxious when I think about what lies ahead.” In response, your children will likely open up and share their own true feelings, perhaps saying, “I’m so glad you told me,” or “We’ll support you however we can, so please don’t feel like you’re a burden.” It is through this exchange—where you offer back your gratitude with words like, “That truly means a lot; thank you,” or “I feel so relieved to have been able to talk to you”—that the bonds of family grow ever stronger.
Shinji
Health is born in a home where love is lavished upon family, and where happiness is mutually sought.
As the kokoro becomes more and more generous, physical health will start to harmonize, and the mind and the body will be protected.
There is only one thing to do today (now).
Have a strong feeling to build a family environment together with family members that engages based on shared grounds of the teachings.
Naturally and gradually, the teachings will bring each family member together, and it will become a family environment where anything can be discussed.
There may well be times when it becomes necessary to put your affairs in order—such as organizing your assets. However, what matters most of all is leaving behind a legacy of character—a spirit capable of truly connecting with your family—and a model of a life well-lived. For it is this legacy that will shape the future of your children and grandchildren. “Father was always filled with gratitude.” “I, too, want to live my life just like that.” A way of living passed down in this manner becomes an irreplaceable spiritual treasure. To ensure that you yourself walk a life free of regrets, and to forge an even stronger “spiritual bond” with your loved ones, now is the time to deepen your ties with your family.