My husband has always loved hiking and mountain climbing, and even amidst news reports of increasing bear-related attacks on people, he still goes out alone. He refuses to listen to my warnings, and I am deeply worried. What can I do to get him to stop? (Female in her 70s)
A
Human hearts resonate with one another, evoking corresponding sentiments. If you strongly demand that your husband listen to you, you will likely receive in return a stubborn resolve on his part to simply do as he pleases. Therefore, to ensure that your hearts align, it is essential that you yourself take the initiative to give your husband a pure love—one that seeks no return and is free from self-absorption.
What is crucial in such moments is conversation. To begin with, show your husband warm interest by asking questions designed to help you understand his feelings—such as, “What is it that appeals to you about mountain climbing?” or “What are you looking forward to the most?” Then, once you have fully acknowledged his sentiments, honestly express your own feelings as well: “You are more precious to me than anyone else,” or “I can’t help but worry about what might happen…”
This applies not only to this specific topic but to every situation: the key is to consistently direct a spirit of love toward others and express it openly. Through the repeated practice of thinking of one’s partner and engaging in heartfelt dialogue, a deep appreciation for the irreplaceable bond of family takes root and grows within the husband as well. Consequently, he becomes able to make naturally sound judgments—thinking, for instance, “I’m causing quite a bit of worry,” “I should stick to a more manageable plan,” or “Rather than going to the mountains, perhaps I should go out with my wife instead”—and thus, able to steer his actions in a direction that fosters harmony.
The human kokoro finds true peace in a comfortable environment where individuals understand and respect one another’s feelings. In such settings, one’s vital energy—along with the power of unmei that guides life toward happiness—is awakened, thereby warding off illness, accidents, and misfortune. In short, by building a harmonious family environment where the kokoro of family members are truly connected, the lives of everyone in the family are safeguarded.
Shinji
–The foundation of happiness is a harmonious family environment—
The more the teachings are learned as a family, the kokoro of family members will anchor, call on each other, and compassion (love) will grow.
The compassionate kokoro (love) that bonds family members will elevate their jittai, and strengthens the Kokoro no Michi.
You will not be in fear of illnesses, and you can avoid accidents・disasters.
It is not only incidents involving bears; countless other crimes and accidents are reported in the news every day. If we allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by such information, our anxiety will only continue to mount. The more these negative feelings intensify, the more easily we become emotionally estranged from our families. To maintain a stable state of mind, it is essential to use Kami’s teachings to gain insight into our own personality traits and to offer kigan to prevent our weaknesses from surfacing. It is through this practice that we can live each day with a bright and cheerful kokoro.