My daughter is in her 20s right now. I want the best for my daughter’s future and for that reason, I worry about her a lot. The reason for my worries comes from the way she lives; although she is working, she seems irresponsible without a mainstay and seems to be easily influenced by her surroundings. I try to talk to her about my worries, but often end up in an argument. How can I convince my daughter and make her see my point? (Female in her 40s)
A
Children are the reflection of their parents. If the parents have a firm mainstay of life, the children will naturally gain that in their life as well. The parents need to practice Kami’s teachings, and be the example for the daughter.
Shinji(*1)
There is only one thing that the parents must do now for the future of their children.
Learn the teachings yourself, and have the awareness to live by the principles.
The effort of the parents to learn and to practice the principles of the path is the best example for your child.
The foundation of the family conversation is the interaction with an awareness of their respective roles and positions.
As you learn the teachings, you become aware of your role in the family and how to interact with your child accordingly. Don’t forget that you are a wife before you are a mother. It is always important to talk it over with your husband to be on the same grounds with him and make sure you both are facing the same direction before talking to your child. And when your child reaches the age of 15, remember they become an adult. You need to face your child as parents and be respectful about your child’s thoughts and feelings.
You need to maintain an atmosphere to let your child know that they can talk to their parents about anything. Make sure they feel comfortable talking and opening about their feelings. These conversations you have as parents and will anchor your daughter’s kokoro. Your daughter’s feelings not to worry the family will rise, and she will be more confident about herself to contribute in her own ways. We can assure that things will turn out for the better as you start to modify your feelings first as a parent.
*1 Shinji: The principles and teachings that are the word of Ōyamanezunomikoto and given to us through Shisha.