My husband is strict and takes things very seriously, and he has sometimes been very hard on our child. I understand he scolds our child for discipline, but when I see our child being scared and reveling against him, I have a feeling of blame towards him. (30’s Female)
A
What is important in childrearing is making the kokoro of a husband and wife become together as one. In order to do so, understand what is the right effort from learning Kami’s teachings and practice them as a husband and wife.
Wishing the child’s happiness and life with a dream is the kokoro of parents.
In a family environment where a husband and wife learn the teachings together and integrate them into their conversation, a child’s kokoro will be at ease and anchored, and the power of unmei will be surfaced and honed.
In order to make the kokoro of a husband and wife to be together as one, it is necessary to talk openly and honestly without hurting each other by being inconsiderate. As both of you deepen the understanding of each other and establish a trustful relation, you will be able to look in the same direction in life including issues about childrearing.
Even if there is a time when your husband is being hard on a child, you will be able to make up for him as you say “Your father said that because he cares and loves you.” A figure of parents who support and know each other deeply, will bring a sense of security to your child. When your child’s kokoro is stable, the good points of your child will be nurtured and surfaced. That will lead your child’s happy life.