(MT from Nagano Prefecture/Female/60s/Housewife)
It’s been two years since I was featured in “Voices” about my experience at work. At the beginning of this year, my husband asked me if I could quit my job and help him out in the fields. “Yes, I can.” And just like that, our farm work with my husband and other two people started. But then, we soon faced a big problem.
Unlike me, who round things up, my husband is detailed. When I plow the field, I throw away the pebbles that come out somewhere. While my husband keeps it neatly in one place. When sowing seeds, he measures the intervals with a tape measure. It’s certainly beautiful, but when the vegetables grow, it doesn’t seem to matter much. But if I say that, I’m sure he will be angry, so I go along with the way he does. “I can’t put up with this!” I was getting more and more stressed.
Realizing the Importance of Changing Myself
We both have been divorced from our first marriages. I thought perhaps this choice was wrong… I even felt the doubt for a moment. And that is when I opened the church books. Two years ago, when I was stuck at work, I realized that books are a good idea, and I’ve been reading them since.
This time, too, I had a big realization. I suddenly thought of my past self. When I come to think of it, I’ve often offended people close to me in the past … So, I realized, “I have to change that outlook in my life.”
Later, when I went out by myself to clean the family grave, my husband told me that it was dangerous and that I should take a different road. But I took the road completely forgetting about what my husband warned me and scratched the side mirror of the car. Sure enough, my husband got angry like a raging fire, saying, “You don’t listen to me!” Normally, I would have distanced myself from him thinking he is acting immature. However, at this time, I had only regretted how lightly I had listened to my husband’s words until now.
My Husband’s Feelings that I Understood for the First Time
One day, my husband was mowing the grass by hand, so I suggested, “Why don’t you do it with a machine?” He said, “I’m thinking about my parents and ancestors who have protected this field.” I was stunned. I haven’t even tried to understand the depth of my husband’s affection … I wielded my own yardsticks and did not accept my husband’s way of doing things thinking that it was “inefficient.”
I thought, “Why does my husband do this?” or “Why does he say that?” As we talked on top of that, I realized that each of my husband’s actions had a meaning behind it. The reason why he takes the time to take care of it is because if he moves his body and sweat, he can stay healthy and in good shape. “I don’t need to go to the gym,” he laughed. “That’s right,” I thought, and my feelings naturally came together with his.
In our daily lives these days, even if we quarrel, we make up immediately. My husband is much less angry. But for me, it’s not a miracle that my husband has changed. While drinking tea together, I said, “It’s delicious,” and my husband smiled and said, “It’s delicious.” I was able to look at his face and think, “I’m happy.” I feel this is true miracle here. He is my husband who has a deep relationship with me and that is the reason why we got together. If there is Kami’s teaching, I can be confident that we can become even closer as husband and wife.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tell us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
Know the principles and walk the path of a shinja who has the correct kokoro as a shinja.
The more you do, your family that nurtures a kokoro of harmony will be fostered in the hands of Kami.
This is a family environment where the soul feels at ease.
Life is finite; experience the meaning (value/worth) of it as a couple, and be a person (a couple) that enjoys conversations.
Keep this one principle in mind; and as you live life one step at a time, you will deepen your ties and connections in your Kokoro no Michi.