(TY from Gunma Prefecture/Female/70s/Nurse)
My husband and I had an arranged marriage more than 50 years ago. At our wedding reception, the guests poured drinks after drinks of alcohol for my husband. He got completely drunk. That was the beginning of my hatred toward my husband…
My husband is a person who can’t do without alcohol. But because of that, the people around him are repeatedly frightened by his verbal abuse and violence. So, every time I heard about “harmony among husband and wife” in Kami’s teachings, my thoughts were going in the other direction thinking, “I don’t want to be happy with him.” But then at the same time, I started to think that as long as I have this hatred toward my husband, nothing will change for the rest of my life. This realization came to me just a few years ago.
The First Step I Took Because I Wanted to Change My Kokoro
At one point, my husband told me that he didn’t like me. I felt the same way. But I said, “We’re in the negative right now, but I want to bring this kokoro to a positive one step at a time.” That became a turning point in our relationship.
The more I learned Kami’s teachings, the more I saw myself defying my husband. I felt horrible and when I apologized to my husband, he said, “It’s okay, it’s okay.” And when I broke my right hand, he supported me very much, such as taking all the small bones of the fish, saying it’s probably difficult to hold the chopsticks. By that time, all the complaints and blames had disappeared from my kokoro.
When My Relationship with My Husband Changed…
What was all that suffering I went through for decades? My kokoro became incredibly light and relaxed. The change in my marital relationship has also brought me great joy in my work.
I have been working as a nurse for more than 40 years; and I am now in my 70s. Although I had past my retirement age, they asked me to stay with them for as long as I could. So, I reduced the number of days I went to work and worked on patients coming in for health checkups. In the meantime, my urge to want to be more useful and helpful grew. I consulted the nursing association, and decided to start visiting a nursing home as a volunteer. Since then, the nursing home has insisted that I work for them as well. Lo and behold, I was hired.
The residents at the home would say, “I look forward to the day you come!” and “I love you!” People who had never spoken to me started to greet me, and people who were complaining at first started to open up to me. There were a lot of nice changes, and the staff said, “The nursing home has become brighter since you started coming.”
My Family, My Health, My Work—All Protected
As we get older, the joy of being needed by others becomes more meaningful. It’s a feeling I’ve never experienced in my lifetime. I don’t necessarily do anything special, but the difference about me lately, is that I am more lively and cheerful than ever before.
Before work and after work; my kokoro is energized by interacting with my husband. I am grateful that my husband stopped drinking and started to go to the gym, and that my husband and I are spending every day in good health. I feel that Kami has protected my family, my health, and my work one thing at a time. I feel the splendor and profundity of Kami’s teachings.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tell us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
Learn the teachings and the more you live by the teachings; people’s kokoro is anchored and the movement of the kokoro to go off the path will fade away.
The love for family will deepen even more; and the kokoro of kansha (gratitude) will envelope the family environment.
People’s kokoro (unmei-jittai) are honed in a family environment where the teachings exist; and will lead the world to the correct path.
A person (being) of high character is fostered here.