(YO from Tokyo/Female/50s/Civil servant)
It all started a few years ago. I felt light-headed and fell over while doing a yoga pose that I normally do without any problems. For some reason, this incident, which I would normally just brush off, stuck with me. I decided to undergo a simple brain checkup, thinking, “If nothing happened, I’d be safe.” What was discovered was a small cerebral aneurysm in the left side of the brain. Follow-up observation continued for three and a half years. During an examination last fall, it was discovered that the shape had become larger and sharper, so I decided to undergo surgery.
The Realization that Came with a Shock
This was my first surgery in my life. While I wasn’t terribly upset under the protection from Kami, but I guess my heart must have been turbulent. Before I knew it, I was becoming increasingly irritated at work. I tend to get so passionate about doing things for my subordinates that I ended up saying harsh things like, “I don’t think we have this, right?” and sometimes these words caught me by surprise. One day, a staff member overheard my instruction and said something to me. “What you say is correct, but the way you say it makes it hard even for me, who is just overhearing you.” It was like being hit on the head with a hammer.
My feelings of apologies flooded in all at once, and I finally managed to say, “I’m sorry, and I’ll be careful.” At that time, a passage from issue #340 of Yūwa came to mind. “Right and wrong are not simply about obeying the law, but whether you can live your life in a way that doesn’t hurt people’s kokoro and give them joy.” I thought, “I want to be like that,” but I couldn’t put it into practice. It was the moment when I was able to face head-on the fact that I can easily become emotional. At the same time, I realized that this personality may have been the cause of my illness, and I seriously wanted to change myself for the sake of my subordinates.
Now that I think about it, I inherited my short temper from my father. But I don’t want to hurt anyone any more. I want to approach my subordinates with a calm heart so that they can work with a sense of purpose. I seriously talked to Kami about my feelings. Then, little by little, the way we interacted with each other began to change. I started practicing by not interrupting when my subordinates are reporting to me; but just listen to the end. If a person in charge remains silent during a meeting, instead of asking, “Don’t you have anything to say?” I would think how can I make it easier for them to speak up. Gradually, I began to see the good qualities in each of them more than ever before. For instance, “This person is not good at office work, but he/she takes good care of young employees.”
Aiming for Further Improvement
The surgery took place as scheduled in December last year. I was discharged from the hospital a week later. Because it was the latest technology, there was less stress on the body, and I was able to return to work within a few days. At work, I was warmly welcomed and was told, “Welcome home!” and my heart was filled with joy.
And last month… Although it was a voluntary recreation activity at work, many employees participated. The smiles on everyone’s faces made me happy, and some even told me, “We’ve never had so many participants like this year. That is a great testament to the great character you have.” It was an unforgettable day. Through my illness, I was finally able to face my own personality. Thanks to Kami, I am grateful for the days when I am able to correct things one at a time.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tell us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
The more you live life sustained by the Shinji—the principles, the movement of the kokoro will anchor, and the feelings to go off the path will not emerge.
The movement of the kokoro led by unmei will be drawn out, and your health will be protected.
The kokoro and the body will harmonize; and health is experienced when the kokoro deepens gratitude.