(TO from Nagano Prefecture/Female/70s/Housewife)
I married 34 years ago. My husband had a stepchild. I remember the first time I met this girl, she had a very poor expression.
It’s already hard to raise your own child who is related by blood, but can I raise this girl properly? I was hesitant about getting married, but I have Kami’s teachings. I made up my mind that I would treat her as my own daughter with love.
No Matter How Hard I Try, Nothing Comes to Fruition
However, the days that followed were really painful and hard. My daughter was in elementary school and stopped going to school. She may have had been a little jealous towards the two daughters I had with my husband, and she would act mean to them. My stepchild and my child; I knew how hard it was to go through on both ends, and my heart was shaken just thinking about what these children were going through emotionally.
I was so busy thinking about the children and I couldn’t even think about my husband. The reality is that we weren’t very communicative and understanding about each other. Anyway, I have endured so as not to make waves, but my efforts were in vain, and my husband developed a mental illness. My step-daughter went to stay at a friend’s house and spoke ill of me. After getting a job, my step-daughter suffered schizophrenia and was admitted to a closed ward at a mental hospital. I was told that she won’t be able to go out into society for the rest of her life.
Accept the Truths and Stand Close
“I don’t know how to live.” It was my step-daughter’s heartbreaking cry. I went to the ward almost every day and snuggled with her. The nurses were surprised, saying, “Normally, no parents will do to this extent” and “I’ve never seen a parent like this.” But for me, it was a precious time to repair the hearts of parents and children who had lost touch with each other.
My step-daughter, who was in the hospital, gradually calmed down and managed to return to society. And then got married. “My mom raised me with love, and that’s why I am where I am today, and I can’t thank you enough. Thank you so much.” I couldn’t stop crying at those words.
The Joy that Comes from Seeing My Step-Daughter Today
It was also a big regret that I didn’t tell my husband my true feelings. I reacted to my husband’s remarks, saying, “That’s not right.” I had a strong ego then. First of all, I thought I need to listen to his thoughts and try to rely on it. As I did so, I began to express my gratitude more and more, saying, “I’m glad I did as you said.”
The other day, my daughter invited me to go and see her eldest son’s last music recital in elementary school. On the way back, I went to my step-daughter’s house for the first time in a while. A glimpse of her life and a sense of security rose inside my heart. I felt an indescribable joy at how kind and attentive they were to their families.
My three children, each of whom has grown up to be respectable. Now we get along with each other like normal sisters, without getting into a rut with each other, and that’s also nice. My husband and I are ready every day to be able to watch our children with such a relaxed heart. I am so grateful that I was able to get this because I had been trusting in Kami.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tell us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
A family’s state where the husband and wife, the parents and children gather is form.
As the kokoro of each and every person who lives in the family comes together, it becomes a true family.
An environment where the kokoro (soul) feels comfort is a family environment where there is harmony (conversation).
Family members will bring each of their unmei together with each other.
Deepening their interactions each and every day; in a true family environment where the teachings are practiced, a person will inherit good elements (jittai) and allows them to walk a life led by their unmei.
Learn the teachings and strive to establish a family environment where there are principles.
Here is the deep understanding where all members of the family will live a life without regrets exist.