(KM from Hokkaido Prefecture/Female/70s/Housewife)
When I got married to my husband 47 years ago, my husband was a furniture craftsman. He was that guy with a typical ‘artisan spirit’ of the Showa period, who was never good at talking to people or interacting with people.
But he has always been a man with a gentle heart. He grew up in a relationship with his parents where they used to always call him ignorant. But my husband never hated his parents for that, but instead, took good care of them. Seeing his devotion for his parents, I wanted to be the one who would take good care of him.
The Sufferings I Experienced for Not Being Able to Communicate with Him
But in reality, there were times when my husband would call me ignorant and I remember being heartbroken. To make things worse, my husband has a hard time hearing with his right ear, which made it more difficult to have conversation and to have a communication. We have thoughts for each other, but our relationship was filled with misunderstandings. I used to guess what my husband was thinking and just went along with it.
Every day was about perseverance. I loved my husband, but my kokoro was lonely… And that is when I found out about this Kami. If we were to make an analogy about our relationship as husband and wife; my husband was at the front of the train, where I was sitting in the very last car of the train. This was how far and distant we were. I became a shinja because I wanted to emotionally stand next to my husband and live the rest of my life.
Even if We Got Emotionally Closer
My husband registered as a shinja too. And we started to learn the teachings together. This may sound strange, but I have good intuition, and I tend to move 0.5 seconds faster than anyone else. But on the other hand, my husband, perhaps due to his hearing problem moves 0.5 seconds after anyone else. So, there is a slight difference that gets created in that split second. To fix that, I decided to wait a bit longer for him to react whenever I talk to him—I decided to go along with his tempo of doing things. Then surprisingly, my husband started to eat the meals I made saying, “That was delicious!” But then, it was always the same words. The truth was; I was happy, but my kokoro was still feeling lonely.
The Happiness I Am Able to Feel During This Lifetime
One day, I told my husband that I wanted to be with him again in our next life. But, my husband said, “No.” But, I found out that his “No” was coming from his lack of confidence. My husband is not very good at writing or reading. And so whenever I tried to help him, it was making him feel less confident every time, making him think, “I am no good.”
I told my husband, “I am happy being with you. I want you to stay who you are. Always listening to me… Always being there for me…” For decades, I cherished him, but this was the first time I told him how I truly feel.
Recently, my husband would sit at the dinner table saying jokes and seems to be enjoying the meal. And the other day, as we were looking at the Shinji that was written on the Kyōkai calendar, he said to me, “Let’s be together again in our next life.” Those words from my husband were enough. I was just happy to hear those words from my husband during this lifetime. This was the moment when my wish to emotionally stand close to my husband came true.
We will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary in three years. We both are looking forward to that. I am very grateful to have met this Kami.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tells us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
The ties with family members will deepen in a family environment as conversations among family members naturally increases.
You will accept the other person’s feelings, and return words with consideration of their thoughts and feelings.
The repetition of these exchanges will foster strong ties.