(CI from Aichi Prefecture/60s/Female/ Part-Time Worker)
I got divorced due to my ex-husband’s violence 18 years ago. This must have been a great shock to the hearts of our sons. They began to say that Kami didn’t exist, and we quit Kyōkai as a family. After that, I raised my three sons by myself. Now each of them has left home and started to live independently.
Last fall, starting from a small quarrel, the relationships between my three sons went on to deteriorate. And my second and third sons didn’t even attend my eldest son’s wedding, and I was the only one on the groom’s side. Looking at the bustling bride’s side, I was filled with loneliness―”My family has fallen apart.”
Wishing to Reunite the Kokoro of the Family
I am connected to each of my children, but my sons remained on bad terms with one another. Having reached retirement age, what I was left with was a family where its members couldn’t relate to one another. “Something must be done about this. But, how?” When my heart was filled with suffering, what came across my mind was the existence of Kami. I still remembered how refreshed and purified I felt when I visited Shinsōhonbu in the past.
“I hope my families will become able to understand one another!” Determined to realize this, I visited Hikari no Yakata to be enrolled again as a shinja. It was as a pure place as ever. Previously, despite being enrolled as a shinja, I was inactive and did not learn the teachings seriously. But not this time. As I learned the teachings of Kami, I came to realize that, as a parent, I hadn’t taught my children the importance of “getting along well with the families, and with the siblings.” As I offered kigan about it in the Shinden (the place of worship), I became surprisingly positive, saying to myself, “I will start over again!”
Just by Listening to the Thoughts and Feelings of the Other Party
Then the way I engaged with my sons also started to change. In retrospect, I used to send vegetables to my sons wishing that they would be pleased, but they were often not happy, saying, “I still have this…” or “If you’d come, why didn’t you tell me?” This means I was not caring about their circumstances. But now, before I take actions, my sons’ faces come across my mind, allowing me to ask them,” I have some vegetables to share with you now. Would you like to eat?” or “Can I come visit your house now?” Then, what I came to receive were their words of “Thank you.” I experienced that family bonds deepen just by listening to the thoughts and feelings of the other party.
The other day, my second son sent me a text message which said, “Live a long happy life.” I was so surprised. I’d never received such pleasing words. Each of my three sons has their own goodness. I love them all so dearly. I want them to get along well. This is my sincere wish as a mother. As a parent, I am determined to set a good example for them so that we will become a family whose hearts come together and understand one another.
Days of Experiencing the Existence of Kami
On the evening of the day I enshrined goshintai at my home for the first time after 18 years, when I was eating various ingredients for dinner, tears ran down my cheeks as I was filled with gratitude for being allowed to live thanks to many plants and animals that I ate, and many people concerned who had made this possible. I am finding it so wonderous that having Kami’s bunkon with us makes us feel so purified as this.
Although I once abandoned my faith in Kami, I am now convinced, through the changes I have been experiencing one after another, that Kami does exist. I am truly glad that I came back as a shinja. I want to pass on the joy and happiness I have experienced to my sons and enjoy it together.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in way the Shinji tells us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
Learn the teachings and swear to Kami that you will live your life supported by the principles.
This conviction will allow shinja’s kokoro to have confidence to live.
The more you live by the teachings, the more the kokoro(kokoro of love) to cherish and make the best of your encounters with others will be drawn out.
Your words and deeds will begin to resonate in others’ feelings, and you will be able to have a kokoro to foster mutual trust.