(MK from Ibaraki Prefecture/70s/Female/Housewife)
We always thought that my daughter and her husband were living happily with their new born child and a plan to build a new house. But a crying plea for help from my daughter came so suddenly. Apparently, her husband completely gave into the home designer’s plan about the designs and floor plans of the new house. And according to my daughter, her husband will not change his mind saying that “Everything is all set and no more changes with designs.”
I was struck by my daughter’s behavior, and I talked it over with my husband based on the teachings of Kami. My husband always says, “The husband and wife must talk to each other about anything.” We both agreed that although the problem appears to be about the floor plans and the design of the house, but it was actually a problem that rooted in the relationship between my daughter and her husband. We as parents, tried to come up with things we can do in our position. But with no solution, we both agreed to go seek for Kyōmu Sōdan (consultation with Kyōkai staff) to make sure we understand our boundaries as parents to involve in this situation in the correct way.
Seeing What We Can Do as Parents
A father, a mother, and the children make one tree—the family. Hence my daughter’s family and we are a separate tree. We came to an understanding that my husband and I must watch over and give my daughter and her husband the emotional support so that they can create a strong tree that stands on their own. So the first solution we came up with was to recommend my daughter and her husband to seek Kyōmu Sōdan so their kokoro can come together much stronger. With our feelings of wanting to support as much as we can, we talked to my daughter and her husband as we offered kigan to Kami.
Despite the busy schedule in preparing for the new home, my daughter and her husband agreed to seek Kyōmu Sōdan without any questions. And this was the beginning of good things that led them to positive results.
The biggest issue they realized was that they weren’t talking to each other about their true feelings. My daughter found out that her husband was doing his best to build a greatest home for them because he loves them so much. And my daughter’s husband realized that what he thought was good for the family weren’t necessarily what his wife was wanting. Since then, we see how my daughter and her husband are trying to communicate their true feelings every chance they get.
Thanks to the Teachings of Kami
My husband is an architect. But with my daughter’s family home, they didn’t ask for his opinion or any kind of help. But now, they seek for their father’s expertise as they try to decide what they want to do with their new home. Despite all the decisions they have to make, they seem to be having fun and it brings smile to me just looking at them talk to each other.
If we didn’t know the teachings of Kami, we would have just taken my daughter’s words and sided with her to blame her husband. Or we might have talked to them and we would have made the judgement on their house.
Although this incident was a challenge, we never realized how important it is for us parents to step back, and watch over them with a kokoro to support.
The Happiness We Feel as Husband and Wife
I always tell my husband that I wouldn’t be here without him. Then in return, my husband would tell me many gratitude like, “Thanks for the great meal you made for me again.” We have occasional fights, but since we can both let go our feelings with kigan, it doesn’t take much time to apologize one another and carry on with our happy lives. Hence, we are not hurting each other’s feelings any more with little things in our daily lives.
Lately, we’ve been saying to each other that we have to seek for more happiness and live happily for the both of us to reach 120 years of age. If you ask me if I am happy? I can say that I am truly happy with much confidence.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tells us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
Learn to deepen the principles of family and each member of the family must live knowing their respective roles.
The kokoro of Kami will take roots and a harmonious family can be achieved.