(AG from Yokohama City/20s/Male/Technician)
My strength is my ability to become friends with any type of person. I told my family, “I’m so grateful for the teachings of Kami. I don’t think I will ever have problems with human relationships.” It was right after this conversation with my family, an opportunity to work together with my strict boss came before me.
I Thought I Can Get Along with Anyone…
At the beginning, I was my usual self, trying to be involved with my boss. But gradually, my fear and my inability to speak to him upfront started to surface. And just couple months ago, I made a mistake during an important presentation to our client. That is when the downward spiral began.
To recover the mistake I made, I spent every single day to make documents and materials to provide our client. I was fighting the lack of sleep and an immense amount of pressure to do the job right. But my biggest battle inside me was my fear against my boss getting upset at me for the wrong doings. I was pushed to corner and I started to be intimated by just seeing my boss.
Is It Just Because My Boss Is Strict?
This wasn’t like me. What could be the problem? The following is the Shinji I came across when I randomly opened the book called Richi no Shinri 14 (pg 6/ Oct. 29, Showa 63)
Shinji
Happiness stems from the satisfaction of the kokoro.
Unhappiness stems from the kokoro of complaints, grievance, and worrying too much.
I know I have to do things with sincerity. But there is another kokoro inside that pulls me in the other direction. “What if I make a mistake again?” “I don’t want to be thought as incapable for the job.” I found out that I wasn’t worried about my boss. It was my kokoro that rooted even deeper inside. It was my kokoro of worrying too much and my kokoro of wanting to defend myself that led to my fear and intimidation I was feeling towards my boss.
The Moment I Thought I Wasn’t the Same Anymore!
My parent’s words wrapped my kokoro that was feeling devastated. They said to me; “Don’t try to do everything by yourself.” “We think your boss is great! Your boss teaches you well.” I also offered kigan to let go my true feelings that were suffering so much. And naturally, my kokoro started to realize, “I should focus on the job I need to do.”
One day, my boss told me that he is having a hard time understanding what I am saying. And as my boss was telling me this, I wasn’t feeling scared. But instead, I thought, “Now I see why!” It was acceptance rather than fear that was running through my mind. And gradually, the mistakes pointed out about me by my boss grew less and less. My kokoro to see my boss’s thoughtfulness towards our client or my boss’s serious attitude towards the work we do appeared more clearly to me. And a sense of respect started to surface within me.
The Urge to Want to Give Back
My boss had recently retired from work, and I took over part of my boss’s work. I sincerely wanted my boss to trust and feel confident that I will do a good job taking over the work. I went up to my boss and asked to educate me on the process, and I was truly happy when my boss gave me the greatest compliment by saying, “You should have no problem!”
Many of my negative kokoro was let go, and I can proudly say that I am confident in doing my job. I hit rock bottom a couple months ago. However, that has served as food for my growth.
I can’t say I won’t have any problems with human relationships in the future, but I can say I can overcome no matter what happens. I think I learned a great lesson.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tells us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
Learn the teachings and have the strong feelings to live by the principles.
When this kokoro deepens and becomes a part of you, the human kokoro will become strong and positive.
You will have the feelings to live to give back without your kokoro being pushed and pulled by people’s words and attitudes.
Accept the other person and the feelings to be involved will help surface the will to work, and it will bring results.
Understand that work becomes achievements when you live with a kokoro to give back.