(KK from Kagawa Prefecture/40s/Male/Employee)
“There is something about me that is different from other people.” This is sufferings I used to feel as a child. I was often misunderstood, and I had trouble remembering things. I became so frustrated that I punched and made a hole on my wall at the house.
I remember having a sense of relief when I was finally given a diagnosis that I had a High Functioning Pervasive Developmental Disorder as I grew older into adulthood. I quit my job at the time, and went under a job training at a support facility for people with disabilities. And I have been working at the same company for 14 years as a full-time employee. I tend to fully concentrate on one thing, so I thought my job as a data entry was perfect for me.
When I Was Able to Change My Outlook…
Right around 7 years ago, I got hooked on playing games on smart phones. Since I had the personality to focus on one thing, I made a team and played games against other teams every single day. Then eventually, some of my teammates started to cheat and frustration started to build up in me. And right around the same time, I started to experience discrimination at my work for my disabilities. Without even knowing it, I was having stress both at work and with my team for the game.
When I get upset, I would go on my phone and look at the website for Kyōkai. And soon after, I was reading Voices and Wisdom of Life every single day. I especially read the Wisdom of Life that was titled, The Unreasonable Words and Actions from My Partner at Work.
I was only focusing on how people were treating me. I realized that I needed to change my outlook so I can focus on fulfilling my responsibilities. So, I went and talked to my mother about my awareness that I gained. Then my mother taught me the importance of offering kigan not just when I felt frustrated, but before my frustration grew larger. I learned the importance to have the movement of my kokoro protected.
Awareness That Followed One After Another
I remembered one time when my psychiatrist said that I was like a ‘runaway train’—always just focusing on one thing and moving forward. I realized I needed to pay more attention to the presence around me.
There is part that says, ‘Meet your responsibilities. Don’t take on more than you can fulfill’ in the Ten Basic Teachings of Kyōkai. Work is not just about doing the job done, but to tell the people around you if you can’t fulfill certain things. So since my work of data entry connects to the people at sales, I decided to do my part thinking more about my colleagues who are in sales. Then, I started to get feedbacks like, “I appreciate your fast work!” or “I need your help.” And before I know it, my frustration grew smaller and smaller.
Striving to Become a Shinja Who Can Deliver Gratitude
I quit my game that I was hooked on for a long time. And now I have a new hobby. Perhaps I am less uptight now, my body has lost some weight and my doctors are so surprised how healthy I have become. After the miracle I experienced with my kokoro, I feel like I have physically experienced a miracle too.
It is just me and my mother in our household. I feel comfortable at home with my mother, and my relationship with my mother has been a blessing of Kami. My kigan to ask for help has gotten less. Now my kigan is more focused on my way of life so I don’t focus on just one thing and to be able to live my life according to the teachings. I am looking forward to becoming a shinja who can deliver more gratitude to Kami.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tells us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
The more you see the principles in the teachings and incorporate them into your life, the kokoro of human beings will anchor, and the kokoro to live to give back will deepen.
You will sense the family’s love at a deeper level, and the movement of your kokoro to go off the path will be suppressed.
Do not let your feelings be consumed by the other person’s attitude, words, or environment; live to give back.
Work will bring you meaning and purpose the more your feelings (conviction) to use the strength of your unmei to give back to society.
Results will follow by having many people’s help, support, and evaluation.