(MM from Oita Prefecture/40s/Female/Physician)
I have two daughters; first one who’s in college, and the second one who’s in high school. I’m raising them the same way and in the same environment, but their personality is completely different. In fact, the two daughters are completely opposite from each other. And especially the second daughter is very similar to me; it makes me nervous and sweat just thinking about it. She says what’s on her mind, and she’s in good relationship with my husband, but is very defensive to me. She also has doubts about Kami, and I am experiencing more clashes with her than ever before.
It All Started when My Second Daughter Forgot Something
One morning, my second daughter said to me with an anxious voice; “I can’t find the materials I have to bring to school.” It was a very busy morning and I got impatient with her and yelled, “That’s why I told you to have it ready the night before!” My daughter’s face was filled with shock and guilt.
I took my daughter to school right after and as I came back home, my mother, who lives with us called me to talk to me. “Blaming and pushing her like that is not good for her. Next time this happens, she might keep it away from you and not say anything.” That opened my eyes because no matter how many times I attended benkyōkai and tried to achieve a family that talks to each other with honesty, I was the one who was creating a family environment where we can’t talk to each other with honesty.
Awareness that Deepened Through My Mother’s Words
Now that I think about it, my daughter’s forgetfulness comes from me. I remembered I was able to start having a habit of getting things ready the night before through multiple mistakes. Also, I often got frustrated with my mother’s self-centered lifestyle, but the advice she gave me was right on this time, and to appreciate more about her. I felt grateful thinking, “Mom must have raised me with such love and patience too.”
I Can Understand and Relate Because She Is Exactly Like Me
I understand my second daughter because she is exactly like me. When I try to listen to her thinking she must have her own reasons for going against me, she would open up. I told my daughter, “I’m sorry to have misunderstood. I was wrong…” Now I am able to say “I’m sorry” which was something I would have never been able to say.
Noticing the changes that are occurring in me, arguments with my husband have become less, and my daughters are talking more and enjoying spending time with their grandparents. Our family environment has become much warmer and filled with joy. I am starting to feel the joy of getting close to achieving a ‘harmonious family environment.’
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tells us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
What ties the kokoro (life) of parents and children is trust.
The ties between the parents and children, who walks the Kokoro no Michi together, will naturally deepen when the teachings are practiced in the family.
The more the husband and wife learn the Shinji, they will start to see the kokoro as human beings.
The kokoro that goes off the path will naturally dissipate, and a harmonious family environment where the family members live in merge with their unmei will be achieved.