(YH from Yamanashi Prefecture/30s/Female/Acupuncturist)
My daughter has turned 7, and we just went through Sanritsu no Gi (The Ceremony for Children 3, 5, and 7 Years of Age). I underwent numerous struggles until my kokoro felt comfortable enough to honestly say, “I am blessed to be her mother.”
Negative Feelings Spreading in My Kokoro
My daughter was born with a disability called the Cornelia de Lange syndrome. Her legs and arms do not move well, and there is an inability of understanding and communication. We are told her disease is a new type and there aren’t too many cases like her. However, half of her symptoms match the syndrome. As an acupuncturist, I’ve spent my time to treat people, but I can’t treat my own child. We were taken away from the option of remission or recovery and was faced with complete devastation.
As she grew, I started to compare my childhood to hers thinking, “When I was her age, I was so active among my friends.” I was experiencing an inferiority complex through my daughter’s situation. No matter how much I studied the books on child-rearing, there were no answers or advice to face a child with a rare disease.
To Feel My Family’s Thoughts
When I was desperately searching for answers, the teachings of Kami deeply resonated with me. The teachings tell us to ‘have conversations.’ But my daughter doesn’t speak. But I realized that my daughter’s kokoro—she was trying so hard to try to understand what we were saying to her. And the deep love for her emerged inside my heart.
I tend to worry a lot. And that made me even more anxious about how to raise her. So, I decided to talk to my husband about my worries, and he would encourage me saying, “We got this.” He is a man of very little words, but his words made me reassure that he will always be there to protect us.
The Joy and Happiness We Experience Through Our Daughter
I self-learned sign language out of desperation to communicate with my daughter. She was able to use sign language for simple words. Being able to learn sign language was already a big miracle for my daughter, but since, she was able to speak simple words too. Of course, she is unable to use lots of words, but I think my daughter puts a lot of her feelings into those limited words she can use. My daughter would hug the family tight saying, “Kawaii!” And through this one word, we feel her love and thoughts she has for us.
Right after my daughter was born, we went under Kankonsai (The Naming Ceremony) . And we were told that she is a girl that brightens and makes everyone smile. After 7 years, I really feel that she is exactly that. She is well taken care of at elementary school, and there seems to always be someone around her. When I see her surrounded with people, my kokoro is filled with joy—it feels like I am being shared the happiness that she has.
Facing My Child with Confidence
During Sanritsu no Gi that we attended earlier, there was a part where the children say “Thank you” to their parents. My daughter cannot say that word. But using her entire little body of hers, bowing to me and my husband many times, she showed and gave us her kokoro of “Thank you.” My heart was filled with joy.
My daughter is still in the process of growing. My husband and I are in same thoughts to keep continuing in this direction. With the teachings of Kami in mind, I am filled with a sense of security and confidence in child-rearing.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tells us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
Learn the teachings as husband and wife and put the teachings into practice to strive to create a family environment with principles.
Parents and children’s conversation will naturally increase in abundance, and the child’s life will start to take course with their movement of their kokoro into the direction led by their unmei.
Conversation between husband and wife and the coming together of their kokoro will increase.
The family (environment) will be wrapped with the power of unmei, and the feelings to live with hopes and dreams will start to sprout.
The state (situation) of family will anchor, and the kokoro of love will envelope the feelings of family members.