(AM from Fukuoka Prefecture/Female/50s/Housewife)
Was It Just Me Who Thought We Are Close Friends?
My husband and I used to say to each other: “We are the perfect couple.” “Yes, for sure.” But was it my misunderstanding? I started to become aware and question this when I heard, “Can you really talk to your spouse with all honesty?” at a benkyōkai I attended.
I was always disturbed by what my husband once said. He said, “I was threatened by my wife.” I thought he was joking, but I confronted him by saying, “What would other people think when they hear that?” But my husband seemed hurt from what I told him. Since then, we stopped talking to each other. With urgency, I went to Hikari no Yakata to relearn the teachings of Kami so my husband and I can become a true married couple. Lo and behold, I started to see myself in many ways.
I Was Giving Him Pressure
Whenever we watch tv or go shopping, I would always ask my husband, “What would you like?” or “Which one would you like?” I would go with my husband’s choices, and would listen to his opinion. But it was my husband who would always let me change the channel because I looked bored watching his choices of tv shows. Asking his opinion while we go shopping was just formality. He would say, “You would decide on your own anyways…” And that is when I became aware of my real attitude towards him.
“I want to do this,” “I want this.”—I was giving him an invisible pressure without even realizing it. Perhaps the accumulation of pressure was what led to him saying, “I was threatened.”
To Have a Kokoro to Enjoy Things Together
I wanted to become a cute, lovable wife. I used to ignore anything that I wasn’t interested, but I decided to try to enjoy the things what my husband likes. Then surprisingly, conversation over watching a baseball game became enjoyable. As our kokoro came close together, our opinions naturally started to match over many things. Even if we don’t try to, I can tell our kokoro is more connected than ever before.
At the same time, my relationship with my sister-in-law who lives together with us, has changed. Because my sister-in-law is so blunt, I used to get hurt from every word she said. But now, I can think that she is just being fully honest and means well. When I was able to see it that way, I can talk to her more about everything. Lately, we would spend a lot of time together in the living room.
It’s our 25th anniversary next year. I’m sure that fight was a trigger pulled by Kami to give us a chance to become a better, truthful husband and wife. We want to do our best to give back for the love Kami has given us.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tells us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
In a family environment where the teachings are well kept aware of, the unmei of husband and wife will come together and direct their feelings to focus on raising each other’s jittai through living by the principles.
Conversations between the two will deepen, and their life of resonance and compassion will begin.