(RN from Hokkaido Prefecture/70s/Female/ Housewife)
My husband is hard of hearing with his right ear due to the measles he suffered as a small child, while I have severe myopia. We have lived our married life until today, always helping each other. Without any big fight between us, I thought we were a reasonably good couple.
I Could See His Kindness When I Changed My Point of View
However, it hit me when I was taught in a church lecture, “Not having quarrels does not mean you are getting along well. Are you communicating anything on your mind to your spouse honestly and candidly?” It hit me because I was always asking myself, “Wouldn’t my husband get angry if I say this to him?” But this does not mean I was obedient to him, either. For many years, I had always been discontented with him, especially about the way he weeded our garden. I wanted him to do it better. So, I weeded the grass he left unremoved, suggesting my dissatisfaction indirectly. Inside my heart, I was always frustrated.
Through the teachings, I found myself frustrated because I was blaming him, although I didn’t express it with words. Then I started to kigan seriously, asking Kami that I would change. And what happened was this. Kami had accepted my kigan for sure and protected my heart―what caught my eye was the place of the garden he weeded. That was where I hang our laundries, a graveled troublesome place.
The moment I realized his kind consideration behind his deeds, my blaming heart disappeared. And another thing that let me recognize his kindness is the maintenance of my bicycle he always does non-assertively. It was his kindness―he does this so that I, who have very poor eyesight, won’t fall off the bike.
Wanting to convey my gratitude filling my heart to him, what I started to do was to add one more piece of message to “Thank you,”―not only saying, “Thank you,” but I came to express my thankfulness with words specifically. When I said to him, “Thank you for weeding the difficult parts of the garden. I realized I was weeding only easy parts,” he shyly smiled at me. After that, he dug a hole to dispose of the weeds in the garden. I thanked him, “Thank you. I’m glad you dug it at once, though it’s so hot and humid,” and his reply was, “I wanted to dig it deeper, but stopped there because it’s so hot.” With this, I felt really warm-hearted.
Now We Are Enjoying Our Daily Casual Conversations
Only a few months have passed since I started to add one more word of “Thank you,” but now I feel his existence so dearer than before. No matter what the topic, we can have a good talk. Even casual conversations have become much more enjoyable than before. Every day is filled with excitement to see how he reacts to my words of “Thank you” added with one more piece of message.
As he’s grown older, recently, my husband has difficulty hearing in his left ear, too. He needs my help. And I rely on him when I have to see distant things. We really need each other. With our hearts together as one, serving as the eye or the ear of the other, we are always talking with each other, “I’m the happiest now. Let’s live a long life together.” “Yes, indeed.”
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tells us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
Learn the teachings as the husband and wife to know the condition of a family where each one’s thoughts are always communicated through conversations; and always strive to live by the teachings as a couple.
No matter what happens to the life that the two of you walk together, you will be able to overcome them by calling out to and supporting each other, with awareness and understanding gained from the teachings.
Each and every thing that happens will become good experiences, which goes on to form the way(principle) that your family should be.
The life that the two of you walk together―the teachings will lead the couple’s kokoro(unmei) to come together as one, bringing out the strength to overcome.