(KH from Iwate Prefecture/30s/Female/Housewife)
My husband used to work for the company run by his father, but he resigned because he couldn’t get along well with his father. Since then, he started to change his jobs frequently due to his bad health or human-relation problems. Each and every day, we suffered and worried about what would become of us.
My Mindset to Blame was Changed
It was church publications that allowed me to get rid of that trouble. I kept on reading the teachings, underlining the passages which particularly resonated in my heart. This led me to realize a lot of things that I was lacking in, one after another. Especially, I had not recognized the importance of holding and expressing hearts of love for others. I realized I was always blaming other people and the circumstances. I had no consideration for others.
I started with offering my kigan (*1) so that I would be able to always love my family and express it with words, and I actually tried to practice it. Then, I experienced the miracle of the movement of my heart being protected. When my husband was diagnosed with adjustment disorder, my heart didn’t waver. Instead, I could be considerate of him, who was suffering the most. To my surprise, what came out of my mouth was words of encouragement; “It’s all right. Let’s overcome this situation together as a family!”
As We Have Started to Learn the Teachings Together as a Couple
When we got married, my husband declared he would never believe in Kami (*2). But now, he has started to learn the teachings of Kami with me. Hoping to encourage him, I suggested him to read church publications and underline the passages resonating with our hearts, together. Once started, I found the joy doubled for me. I said to him, “I was impressed with this passage in Minori no Michi (*3)―parents should not take it for granted that they are allowed to be parents, for not everyone can be a parent. How about you, honey?” “That resonated with me, too.” he replied. Like this, we naturally came to exchange our opinions and sometimes we convey what we hope each other to correct. Such conversations used to trigger quarrels in the past, but now, we see it was wrong and promise to try to correct it, saying, “I’m sorry,” with smiles on our faces. We have changed this much.
Our Family Has Become Alive With Happy Conversations
As we made more and more conversations like this, my husband gradually recovered from his illness, until he has returned to society. Every evening he comes home from work with a happy face. I always ask him to tell me three happy events of the day. Recently he has come to tell me his happy stories cheerfully. Imitating their parents, our little children come and tell us their happy stories of the day, asking me to share my happy story with them. Our family is alive with cheerful smiles and conversations.
Now I find that somewhere along the way, the relations between my husband and his father has improved, too. When he came to accept his father’s thoughts and feelings, his father became calm. Conflicts and quarrels have disappeared like magic. The ties between my parents-in-law and us have been steadily deepening. We have been expressing our love, like, through sending them birthday presents. “Let’s keep on expressing our thankfulness for them with words,” my husband and I have made up our mind.
With the hearts of husband and wife coming to beat together. the hearts of our entire family have started to come together as one. Now I am truly experiencing the worth of living by the teachings of Kami.
Heeding the Shinji (*4) to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji are the universal truth and it also becomes the prophesies of life. Experience the wonders of life flowing exactly the way Shinji reveals, as you live by the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
The more the teachings are learned as a family, the more the kokoro (emotions) of family members come together and conversation deepens. The kokoro (love) to be considerate of one another is gradually fostered and a life is lived guided by the unmei.
Continue the effort to learn the teachings and practice the principles as a family. The human kokoro anchors and the kokoro of what it is to be human grows.
The human being is made whole when the relationship with family members deepens.
*1 Kigan: To speak your mind honestly to Kami about your troubles as well as your hopes and aspiration.
*2 Kami: Great power above named Ōyamanezunomioto, the source of all life.
*3 Minori no Michi: Church publication for Minori no Tsudoi― monthly parent-child program for children in elementary and junior high schools, of which focus is to explore how to live each day with the right kokoro through topics and examples tailored to this age group.
*4 Shinji: The principles and teachings that are the word of Ōyamanezunomikoto and given to us through Shisha.
*5Kokoro: The heart, the mindset; the thoughts and emotions that constantly move between the soul (unmei) and the physical body (jittai); if the kokoro is influenced by our temperament and other physical predispositions of our jittai, it becomes unbalanced; if it becomes one with our unmei, the kokoro becomes balanced and anchored.
*6 Unmei: The unique strengths given to each human being at the time of birth by Ōyamanezunomikoto that allows us to be useful in society, to help others, and to live a life of hope, meaning, and purpose.