(MN from Shizuoka Prefecture /Male/70s /Civil Servant)
“If you don’t change your way of life, nothing will change.” These are the words my son was once told by a staff member of the church. Inspired by that single remark, my eldest son underwent a profound personal transformation. While I watched over him with joy, I eventually realized that “changing one’s way of life” was something I, also needed to do.
What I Realized Through My Illness
Our son—who developed a brain tumor at the age of two—miraculously was saved time and time again. Doctors predicted my son would live at most to the age of five; he is now thirty-seven years old. Even the physicians are astonished, remarking, “It is a mystery.” Perhaps that is why, when I myself was diagnosed with stomach cancer, I may have been overly complacent. I told myself, “We are under Kami’s protection, so everything will be fine.” However, reality proved harsh; during my hospitalization, I endured a series of crushing blows—including the abrupt termination of a promotion I had been slated to receive—that left me utterly devastated
Furthermore, there was the anxiety about the future—the worry over what would become of my children and grandchildren after I was gone. I wanted to leave behind a legacy of living well. The importance of creating a peaceful, harmonious family environment—a principle I had often studied in our regular study sessions—suddenly struck me as a stark reality that weighed heavily on my heart. It was then that I finally realized: “Expecting Kami to somehow fix everything for me, without ever reforming my own way of life, was nothing more than self-indulgence.” I realized, with absolute sincerity: “I want to live in a way that invites no illness, and I want to transform this pathetic version of myself.”
As I Strove to Understand One Another…
I have a very short fuse. I get frustrated in an instant—either lashing out with harsh words or bottling up my feelings and turning away. How many times has my wife told me, “I have no idea what you’re thinking?” Yet, I continued to prioritize my own feelings; once I had reached a conclusion, I would simply declare, “This is what I’m going to do.” Even when my wife asked for my reasons, my only response was, “Because I decided so.” With that approach, there was absolutely no way she could have ever understood my perspective. I used to accuse my wife of being harsh, but now, a deep sense of gratitude and remorse wells up within me as I reflect on how remarkably she has put up with me all this time.
Even just a little bit…I want to converse calmly and foster a deeper mutual understanding with my wife. For this reason—and while praying to Kami to help me avoid losing my temper and refrain from retreating into my shell—I continue to strive to steady my heart. I realized that my short temper tends to flare up whenever my opinions are challenged by the other person. Since making this discovery, I have made a point of speaking up before my own thoughts become too rigid. I also consciously made efforts to actively articulate why I feel the way I do and what I would like to see happen. Simply doing this allows for a much more pleasant and harmonious exchange. I have also come to realize that by simply asking, “What do you think?” we can often arrive at a far better conclusion than I ever could by thinking things through on my own. I am filled with nothing but gratitude for having become the kind of person who can listen to others calmly and with a smile.
I want to Leave Behind a Good Way of Life for My Children and Grandchildren.
What one should pray to Kami for is simply the ability to live a life free of regrets. Thanks to this realization, I have grown much closer to my family. I, who once ate my wife’s cooking in silence, now naturally voice my appreciation, saying, “Thank you.” Since she took the trouble to prepare the meal, my body now moves instinctively to handle the cleanup. Feeling that I am supported by my wife, I am motivated to actively do whatever I can in return. We have also found more opportunities to talk openly and casually about our thoughts and feelings. Thankfully, ever since that hospital stay, I have also been blessed with good health.
By coming to understand the true workings of happiness, I have transformed into a person who is completely different from the one I used to be. Although I still have my flaws, I also possess—without a doubt—the quality of sincerity that I inherited from my ancestors. My daily efforts are now dedicated to keeping my negative traits in check while allowing my positive qualities to shine—and, in doing so, to ensure that I can pass these virtues down to my children and grandchildren. I strive forward each day, holding close to my heart the solemn pledge I made last year during the Renewal Ceremony at the Yaizu Hikari no Yakata in Shizuoka.
Confirming the Workings of Happiness Through Shinji
Shinji
You must gain your own awareness from the teachings and strive to correct your kokoro.
Gradually and naturally, a touch of brightness and gentleness would linger in the words you use and from how you act.
That is when your kokoro synchronizes with your unmei—trust, and the feelings to support each other blooms in the family environment.
Human beings become a person with a bright and strong kokoro when placed in an environment where people come together and complement each other stemming from the strength of their unmei.
This is a human being’s kokoro (state of being) who has achieved true health.
The Shinji revealed by Kami set forth teachings on a way of life intended to lead to true happiness. Precisely because these teachings embody universal truths applicable to all humanity, if one lives in accordance with them, one’s life is bound to take a turn for the better.