Coming Close to Cutting Ties with My Mother
Overcoming Decades of Fear

(MM from Oita Prefecture/30s/Female/Contract Worker) 

My feelings for my mother have been hidden for many years… Ever since I was a child, my mother was a strict person, and my opinions were ignored when it came to going to higher education or getting a job. And I did everything as my mother told me. The only one time I confronted my mother was when I decided to get married. Despite being strongly opposed to even dating, I simply told her, “I’m leaving this house on this day,” and practically ran away from my parents’ house. 

I Thought It was Now or Never 

From that day on, I was never allowed to step over the threshold of my parents’ home. I myself was concerned about my mother, who lives alone, but I was too scared to approach her. This feeling overwhelmingly prevailed, and before I knew it, 8 years had passed. 

A feeling of avoiding my mother filled me. Knowing that this is “a way of life that cuts off the Kokoro no Michi,” and how much of an impact will it have on one’s future? It was only recently that I began to become aware of Kamis teachings. When I think about it, my mother and my grandmother didn’t get along well, and my sister also avoided my mother. A jittai with a weak connection to parents that has been repeated unintentionally. I felt a strong urge that now is the only time to fix this. 

The Mothers Kokoro that Lies Deep in Her Words and Attitude 

I decided to go see my mother and called out to my sister, but she seemed reluctant. So the two of us decided to go to Hikari no Yakata. And at sōdan we received a piece of advice from a staff member saying, “Please look at the inside of your mother.” 

My mother uses strong words and a blunt attitude. But I remember when I was little, she kept buying me medicines that were good for my body when I had a sinus infection. She would say; “Drink this!” Her words were harsh, but I felt like I could see a little bit of my mother’s kokoro, who raised me with such care. “I really want to be on good terms with her.” I offered kigan for these true feelings at Hikari no Yakata. And on our way home my sister and I visited my mother. 

Surprising Changes Experienced One After Another 

As we went into the house, she said in her usual tone, “Hurry up and come in.” When I looked closely, I saw tears welling up in her eyes…and she was gently wiping them away. 

My mother lives with my grandmother, who has dementia, and I was able to see her for the first time in a while. On the way out, I said to my mother, “Mom, if you need help, please let me know.” How was I able to say those words to my mother? I couldn’t help but be surprised. 

My fear towards my mother had disappeared. This is truly amazing! Because Kami protects my kokoro. I’ve been suppressing my feelings, but now I’m able to talk openly to my husband, and our relationship has improved, and the chain reaction continues. 

The Miracle of the Deepening Bond Between a Parent and Child 

The other day, when I went to my parents’ house with my sister and nieces, my mother had prepared a present for my nieces. And the presents were my childhood clothes that my sister and I wore when we were little… The bags were neatly packed and waiting for them. 

I feel a deep love from my mother who is clumsy when she said, “I’ll hem the clothes with a sewing machine.” The bond between parent and child has finally begun to deepen. We still have a long way to go, but I feel that Kami is warmly supporting us. 

Finding the Principles Behind the Story from Shinji 

Human beings inherit the elements of the family in their Kokoro no Michi and are born into the world in the hands of Kami. 
Shinjithe principles are teaching the jittai. 
As you know your jittai and live by the principles; all human beings can hone their unmei, and have their kokoro move in merge with their unmei. 
Life is protected when you place yourself in a family environment where the unmei is honed and the jittai are simultaneously raised. 

Shinji that Kami reveals are a teaching on how to live life in order to be happy. Because it is an unchanging principle that relates to all people, if you live according to the teachings, your life will definitely change for the better.