(NJ from Tottori Prefecture/Male/50s/Business Owner)
I didn’t get along with my emotionally aggressive mother for years. In the past, we’ve had fights where the police had to come stop us. She is my step-mother and my step-father has already passed away. I don’t know much about my real parents, but they told me my step-mother took me in when I was still an infant. So, I want to do something for her out of my gratefulness, but my emotions get in the way and I can’t. I felt like I should go away from her before I do anything regretful. My days were filled with struggles.
A Book That Impacted My Kokoro
Just about 2 summers ago, one book changed me completely. My friend had always told me that there is a place where he wanted to take me. And he gave me a book called Minori no Michi, the 28th edition. As I read through it, there was this one Shinji that hit me really hard. It said; Every person is born into this world given love, and end their life feeling love. Throughout my life, I’ve always felt that I wasn’t meant to be born—I shouldn’t have been born. But I was wrong. I found out that I was born and have lived until today because many people have given me love.
My wife and I became a shinja and as I started to learn the teachings, there were many occasions where I was in tears as if it was cleansing away my bad things of my kokoro. I was overwhelmed and consumed by my emotion and never even tried to understand my mother. But I wanted to learn the teachings together with her and become happy together. Overflowing with emotion, I told my mother about Kyōkai and she immediately registered as a shinja. At registration, she wrote down her feelings saying, “I want to become happy together along with my family.” Looking at her words brought me so much emotion.
Knowing How to Make a Warm Family
As a person who had problems about relationships with parents, the teachings of Kami had taught me how to make a family for myself. The foundation of happiness is the family/home, and the husband and wife that stands in the center of the family must always be communicating their feelings to each other. And the husband has the responsibility to support the kokoro of the entire family. I put the teachings into practice one by one, and there, I noticed the increase in the amount of conversations I was having with my wife and my children. And lo and behold, my entire family became happy and high in spirit.
As I offer kigan, my kokoro would calm down. And my strong character who used to run after someone if I had complaints, gradually subsided. But if my feelings somehow didn’t regain calmness, my friend and his wife who gave me the book before would stop by and listen to me. It’s strange how my friend would pop in to say hello at a perfect timing. But in number of cases, it made me feel that I was overseen and protected by Kami.
A Definite Change that Occurred with My Kokoro
My mother’s dementia progressed and she is often hospitalized these days. At times, she gets emotional and aggressive, but my gratitude for her for raising me will never fade away. One time, a friend of mine saw me walking hand in hand with my mother and told me that it’s truly a miracle and how happy he is for me. I am so grateful now and I am glad that I am alive today. I will do my best with whatever I can to help my mother feel this joy and happiness too.
From the Wife:
I’ve always wanted to support my husband, but never knew what to do to help him. I would often stop talking to him because I didn’t know what to say. But as I started to learn the teachings of Kami, I realized the importance of listening to the other person and at the same time, the importance to tell my feelings in a way that would reach them. My husband is currently busy with his work, but he makes time to talk to me. As our kokoro as husband and wife come together closer, I can reassure that we can support my mother-in-law with much more whole-heartedness.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flow exactly in a way the Shinji tells us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
—The foundation of happiness is a harmonious family environment—
Human beings who live with kokoro, lives to seek for a family/home where their soul feels at rest.
When a family/home filled with love is made, any person can feel at ease, and gain a positive and bright kokoro.
Gain awareness about the preciousness of family/home and put the teachings of Kami into the family.
In the hands of Kami, the kokoro (soul) will be in touch with a love that is true, and a pure love will tie the family members together.