(MS from Miyagi Prefecture /Female/ 30s/Welfare Facility Worker)
I’ve always had low self-esteem, and I would excessively worry about things and get depressed. I didn’t want to be disliked, so I kept quiet and couldn’t say what I thought honestly… But that wasn’t all. I was caught in a vicious cycle where I couldn’t get along with people. I broke up with my boyfriend and changed jobs. I was walking a difficult life.
Always Worried if I am Loved
Looking back, my parents ran a restaurant and were very busy, so I had to endure things from a young age. I think I had unconsciously adopted the idea of “don’t cause trouble and be a good child.” I never spoke to my quiet father, and although I would talk to my mother about various things, she would say things like, “That’s not right,” or “Maybe it’s just how you perceive it.” Feeling rejected by my own mother, I would swallow my words and feel sad when she would say things like that. Just like my father, I would become sulky and silent, unable to express my feelings. “Maybe nobody loves me…” I was always haunted by anxiety.
When I Opened Up My Feelings to My Parents…
I want to be happy too… With that in mind, I attended study sessions at Shinji Kyōkai and took advantage of the consultations. Through repeated sessions, I realized the importance of a family where people can communicate with each other. The things I would realize made me have hopes for a brighter future, and strangely, my mood became brighter. So, I decided to change my twisted thinking about my parents, that “they’ll never understand me anyway.” I decided to open up more and talk to them.
Even when I think that my parents may be feeling tired, instead of giving up on talking to them, I would say, “Can I talk now?” and communicate to them. “I am having a tough time at work…” “I can’t find peace of mind…” As I opened up to them, I realized that their words weren’t always negative, but rather, an advice that was given with their best interests in mind. I also felt the comfort of knowing that they were there for me and on my side when I was really struggling. Thanks to them, I was able to take a good look at the things I needed to reflect on and develop the determination that I can fully use in the future.
The Courage to Change as a Family
My parents also began to seriously study Kami’s teachings, and they changed quickly. What surprised me was the transformation in my father. He began to share his thoughts and feelings. He even said, “I don’t want to leave my children and grandchildren with my father’s bad side. I want to work hard to change.” Families share a common unmei, with similar ways of thinking and living. I can’t imagine how encouraging it was for me to know, “I’m not the only one suffering. We can all change together as a family.” Before I knew it, I was able to talk to my family about anything, even the smallest things.
Interact with People Without Hesitation
One day, I was telling my parents about someone at work who was acting cold to me. In the past, I would have been told, “Don’t think that way…” and that would have been the end of it. But my parents responded saying, “It must be unpleasant when people say that to you,” and “There are all kinds of people out there.” They accepted me for who I am and supported me! Just that alone made me feel at ease, and I was enveloped in a great sense of security. Thanks to them, I naturally started to see the good in others to say, “They may be rude, but they do their job well,” and my sense of dislike for them disappeared. I used to keep everything to myself and keep quiet until it became too much. But before I knew it, I was able to rely on the people around me without any pressure and enjoy interacting with them.
A Transformation In Parent-Child Relationship
Recently, I have been feeling the love of my parents, who wish for my happiness, believe in me, and support me more than anything. I have come to realize that I too have the good qualities to help others. Even when I feel down, talking to my family makes me feel lighter and doesn’t drag me down. Kami’s teachings have changed us as a family in a significant way. I will never forget my gratitude for the support I have received, especially from my parents, and I will cherish my encounters and continue to improve my way of life.
Confirming the Workings of Happiness through Shinji
Shinji
A harmonious family environment where interactions between family members and relatives deepen.
When a human being is placed in a family environment where the soul is anchored, they will achieve true happiness by blooming their unmei and elevating their jittai—the quality of their kokoro.
Be a shinja who realizes and understand how important it is to have conversations and to have emotional exchanges with family members in a family environment where the teachings are valued.
Shinji revealed by Kami are teachings that explain how to live a happy life. Because these are universal truths that apply to everyone, if you live in accordance with these teachings, your life will surely improve.