（JM from Ishikawa Prefecture/60s/Female/Parttime）
About a year ago, I was in complete darkness. My mind and body felt heavy and exhausted, and everything felt like a chore. Yet, I couldn’t sleep even when I lay down. That made me even more depressed, anxious, and miserable… In those days of a never-ending cycle of negativity, I kept wondering, “What’s going to happen to me?”
A light that Shone in the Darkness
“You should try getting some guidance from church consultation.” Encouraged by fellow members of the church, I went to Hikarino Yakata. There, I realized that I had been carrying my burdens alone. After returning home, I immediately told my husband, “I want to get better, so I am going to ask for your help.”It’s was truly strange, but simply talking honestly made me feel so much better. A small light was lit in the darkness inside me. And the sense of relief from hearing “I understand” was incredible… Later, my husband and reached out to the church consultation and also visited a psychologist. We found out that I had early-stage depression.
When I Started to See More Clearly about Myself
To be honest, I was worried to even take my medications at first. But as my husband cared for me asking; “How are you feeling today?” “You shouldn’t stop taking your meds without a professional medical advice.” My husband’s words made my doubts and worries go away, and it encouraged me to take my medications. As my sleep cycle stabilized, I was able to comprehend the teachings even better. There was a specific
Shinji I kept reading repeatedly.
Shinji
You should not regret looking at your past
You should not feel rushed seeing the future.
Just focus on what you need to do now with ease.
Looking back, I realized that I tended to dwell on unpleasant things and often became withdrawn and depressed when I was alone. I was also not good at expressing my feelings, and even this time, I initially just used to say, “I feel heavy and I’m going to lie down.”
I realized I had been wrong, and that my husband hadn’t known how to approach me in that situation. What I needed to do now was to connect with my husband emotionally and face the illness together. When I made a conscious effort to communicate, he responded with reassuring words like, “Don’t push yourself,” and “Let’s eat ready made food together (so you don’t need to cook).” I rediscovered the feeling of “husbands and wives supporting each other,” something I had learned repeatedly throughout our marriage. I realized how warm and comforting that feeling truly was. After a few months, my anxiety completely disappeared, and I was able to finish my treatment.
Passing the Happiness I Achieved to Our Children
One year has passed since then. Lately, my husband and I have had more opportunities to learn together, and we’ve been able to laugh more often. When I start to feel down, my husband reassures me, saying, “Keep a calm heart.” I’m truly happy that we can communicate even the things that are a little difficult to say to each other.
Looking back, my current illness somehow mirrors my late mother’s experience. My once cheerful mother became so depressed in her later years, almost like a completely different person… But I have been supported by Kami‘s teachings and my husband’s kindness, and I have regained my hope for life. I want to share this joy, first with my children, and then with all of you.
Reassuring the Workings of Happiness with Shinji
Shinji
First, people’s kokoro will anchor, and doubts will disappear to those who learn the teachings with the family and strives to involve with people by the principles.
They can also share the true way to live with family.
Gradually and naturally, family environment will feel bright and positive; the kokoro of hōshi (to give back) will envelope the family members, bringing them together as one.
The Shinji revealed by Kami are teachings that explain how to live a happy life. Because these are universal truths that apply to all people, living according to these teachings will inevitably lead to a positive transformation in one’s life.