(SS from Tokyo/70s/Female/Part-time Worker)
I have lived a lonely life, constantly thinking about death. My father questioned why I was born in the first place and often was violent. My mother died of illness at an early age, and my older sister, who was a lot older than me, was always mean… At the end of my teens, I married into a family chosen by my parent, but I left that marriage with my 6-month-old child.
After that, my husband, who I remarried, was kind. I met Kami and was freed from thoughts of death. However, no matter where I am, I am extremely nervous and suffer from stiffness in my body and pain behind my eyes. I couldn’t relate well to people, and I felt lonely as if I was always under the control of my late father.
“Kami-given” Change of Kokoro
As I was telling my lonely feelings to Kami, I remembered an incident from my childhood at the end of the year two years ago, just about several years since my husband passed away. When I wasn’t feeling well, my father took me to the hospital even in the cold. It was very hard to understand, but I’m sure he was worried about me… “I’m here because of my parents.” I felt so passionately that I couldn’t stop crying. A strange sense of comfort spread through me, and I vowed thinking that I didn’t want to lose this feeling. I promised myself that I would never go back to the way I was before.
Letting Go My Feelings Let My Sense of Trust Deepen
As I learned Kami’s teachings, the darkness in my heart began to melt away. I can face people with an honest feeling, and my body naturally feels better. Instead of wallowing in agony, I decided to change my relationship with my sister who lives far away.
So, one day on the phone, I asked her, “Why were you so mean to me in the past?” “Was I?” My sister’s response was so straightforward that I couldn’t help but laugh. And that’s when I realized I had bad thoughts about my father and sister all these years wondering why. The answer is that I didn’t know the correct way to interact. It was quite simple. I was able to rebuild myself to this point because I was able to encounter Kami and learn the teachings.
Now that I’ve sorted out my feelings, I’ve started to have more relationships with relatives, and I was able to naturally say, “I want to get along with everyone.” When I became proactive and initiated to take action, my relationships with people deepened and the loneliness I had felt for many years was dissipated.
Moving Forward with a Reborn Kokoro
Looking back, a lot has happened until today. There was also a time when I was active in my hometown thinking, “I wish I could support people who’ve been in the same situation.” The encounters I made there are important, but I also want to deepen my ties with my family, which is most important to me.
I‘m finally starting to see the warmth of family relationships. This seems like a normal thing, but what a blessing it could be. I thought about this while sitting around a hot pot with my son’s family who came to visit me this New Year. “I want to do everything I can to prevent my precious children and grandchildren from inheriting the bad things of the kokoro in our family.” To do this, I need to learn, become aware of the movements of my Kokoro, and change the way I live. My life is about to get better. The difficulties I had been living with have disappeared, and I am filled with hopes and dreams.
You must live supported by the principles (teachings) that Kami reveals to the world through Shisha.
Your kokoro will naturally and gradually anchor; your thoughts to interact correctly will start to grow.
The environment you live in today (now) will appear more gentle and things will turn out for the better.
Appreciating the encounters of all people and things, your attitude and response will become gentle.
Shinji which Kami reveals is a teaching that teaches how to live in order to be happy. Because it is a truth that is universal to everyone, if you live according to its teachings, your life will definitely change for the better.