My daughter starts playing and moving around during meals. I tell her to stop, and she can play after she’s finished. But she doesn’t stop, so I end up getting angry. She’ll be starting elementary school next year, and I’m worried that if she stays restless, she won’t be well-mannered. (Woman in her 20s)
A
It is a parent’s duty to teach their children manners. However, no matter how much you try to persuade them with words, it is not guaranteed that they will listen. This is because children have their own thoughts and feelings. These become more apparent as they grow. This is because their egos and personalities are beginning to emerge.
As they grow, the way we interact with our children evolves to nurture their strengths. Kami has taught us how to interact with them from the ages of 3 to around 8:
The ego will start to emerge.
So, listen carefully to your child’s feelings and teach them about both the good and the bad.
As children get older, they will have more interests and things they want to do. Be sensitive to their feelings and, when the time is right, speak to them.
What is essential at this time is the parents’ own emotional stability. Raising children brings both joys and worries. It is important not to carry everything alone, but to discuss everything with your spouse, bring your kokoro together, and be involved with your child as a team. This will help build a harmonious home where the souls of all family members are at peace. Children learn how to live and interact with others by modeling their parents’ behavior. The more a child sees their parents supporting and caring for each other, the more settled their emotions and behavior will be.
Shinji
The love that the parents directly teach will anchor your child’s sensitivity and help them acquire a rational mind.
Husband and wife must learn the teachings. In a family environment where the teachings are made the most of in their conversation between the husband and wife, the kokoro of child will feel secure and anchored.
Hence, the strength of their unmei will be drawn out and honed.
This environment is what family education should be like.
Kami describes discipline as teaching—It means learning how to live a life that will bring you happiness. Let’s study Kami‘s teachings as a couple, build a peaceful home, and nurture our children’s generous kokoro.