I want to marry the girl I am currently dating. My parents are separated, my father is a gambling addict, and he’s in debt. I feel like if I tell her, she’ll break up with me, so I can’t bring myself to be upfront and tell her my situation. But then, I think it’s not a good idea to get married while keeping it a secret. What should I do? (Male in his 20s)
A
Happiness or unhappiness in life is determined by whether or not you can build a family with good relationships. Among them, the husband and wife, who are the core of the family, are the most important relationship. Only when the two people can form a strong relationship of trust can they live by supporting and complementing each other. You must avoid responding in a way that advances the conversation without telling the truth.
In addition, marriage is not just a matter of two people, but can also be said to be a unification of two families. And in your lives, you need the understanding and support of each other’s parents.
Every family has different circumstances, and even parents may have their shortcomings. Therefore, you must not forget to be grateful to those who have given birth to you and nurtured you. You must strive to continue to live a good life, while at times, learning from their mistakes. That determination is essential.
Shinji
Marriage—the more life is lived accumulating one encounter after another, the encounters are deepened, eventually bringing the one good encounter that forms (to marriage).
You must make use of Kami’s teachings to elevate your kokoro, your way of life, so that all the encounters will turn to be a good encounter to your life.
Marriage is a milestone, not a goal. What is important is how to live your life after that and build a harmonious family. So, let’s be honest and sincere about everything and make sure to discuss things at all times. Only then, when you are determined to move forward together, can you proceed to marriage.
If you both accept all the realities and decide to get married, no matter what difficulties you may face in the future, you will be able to think about them based on the teachings and work together to overcome them.