（HK from Saga Prefecture/30s/Female/Housewife）
I was introduced to Kyōkai by my mother-in-law, and it’s been 4 months since I became a shinja. It’s only been 4 months, but I am seeing some definite changes occurring in me. My kokoro has been very calm.
I became a shinja when I was having some issues with child rearing. I have a 3-year-old daughter who’s going through this phase of saying “No” to everything, and a 1-year-old son who hysterically cries making people around him feel very anxious. My husband gets very upset at my son crying, and starts to yell. Which doesn’t do anything but to make the matter worse—my son would cry even harder and louder. It was a bad cycle of frustration, and I had no solution.
Changing My Approach to Always Take My Children’s ‘Sides’
The teachings I started to learn at Kyōkai was new to me and was very refreshing. What directly ties to the child’s stability is the ‘connection of the kokoro between the husband and wife.’ I was stunned. I have always tried to protect my children from my husband being upset, but I realized I was only taking my children’s sides. I have to make sure my husband knows I am also with him emotionally so that his kokoro feels respected and recognized. Although my situation continues unchanged, I feel better because I know what I should be doing.
When I engaged in a conversation with my husband, he opened up to me about a lot of things. There is no doubt he is a good father to my children when things are calm. But he said that when he hears the children cry, he can’t stop feeling upset and irritated. He said, “Since they are still small, I thought they wouldn’t comprehend the action of me getting upset.” Listening to what was running through his mind, I felt the importance and the need for us to offer kigan as parents to have a calm kokoro.
Then one day, my son started crying again. I instantly thought my husband would start getting upset. But to my surprise, he started singing songs to ease my son’s kokoro. Of course, my son didn’t stop crying right away, but I felt like I saw his gentle and kind kokoro and felt so warm inside. I felt encouraged and happy that we are in this task of ‘child-rearing’ together as parents. And at the same time, my gratitude for him grew deeper and stronger.
The Good Changes Since I’ve Become a Shinja
Since then, my son’s hysterical crying has become less, and he has started to listen to me more. To be honest, I was a bit suspicious thinking “What if it was all a bad influence?” before I became a shinja. But I only find good things that have inspired me.
I used to have many human relationship problems. And my only hope was that my children would not have to go through the same problems I did. In order for my children to walk a better life, it is the family environment—not the cram schools or kindergarten—that helps build the foundation of the kokoro. Becoming a shinja has allowed me to be confident about my views of ‘what’s important in life.’ And my kokoro is less wavered. Now that I know what I need to do, I am stronger and more optimistic than ever before.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tells us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
If the husband and wife are walking their life as one and supporting each other’s kokoro, the unmei of their children will be wrapped in love that is true, and will grow to be a fine human being.
–The source of happiness is a harmonious family—
Be aware of this truth about life; and without any doubts in the kokoro and led by their unmei, your child’s journey to walk their life will begin.
Child rearing—understand that it is all up to your understanding, and so walk the path as a shinja without any doubt.