Mortgage and fees for our children’s after-school classes have put us on a tight budget. And this has caused all of us to be unhappy and there is no positive vibe in the household. My husband is constantly on the go, which makes it difficult to sit down for a talk, and he is also not in good terms with our children. What can I do with this situation? (Female in her 50s)
A
To make one’s family environment bright and warm, the husband and the wife play the crucial role. In order for the couple to be tied through firm mutual trust, start by deepening your communication with your spouse.
Shinji(*1)
Do not seek to attain what is natural from knowledge found in society.
Learn the teachings and gain the awareness to look once again in the state of society.
The home is a needed environment to hone and elevate a person’s (human beings) kokoro (*2) (unmei-jittai) (*3) and to live out a life of no regrets.
When each family member understands their place and position in the relationship to one another, a person (human beings) lives a life that is one with their unmei (*4).
The purpose of purchasing a house and giving your children opportunities to learn various things is to make the family members happy. This shouldn’t be lost sight of. Many people today seem to prefer owning a house to renting one, and many parents want to give their children opportunities to take various classes after school. Instead of regarding these trends in society to be the right way, look into the reality of your family together as a couple and discuss the matter within your parameters.
The importance is for the husband ant the wife to create an atmosphere which would allow each family member to communicate their thoughts and feelings candidly with one another. Children would not feel down when their father and mother come together and warmly talk to them, like; the mother would say although they cannot dine out, she hopes them to enjoy the meal she made with a lot of love; the father would say he loves the meals that his wife cooks the most in the world. Do not hide the cares you have from the children. Trust them, and show them that you care. When you have heart-to-heart communications with each other, then your children’s hearts will be filled with gratitude toward their parents, which will make your home a comfortable and warm environment.
*1 Shinji: The principles and teachings that are the word of Ōyamanezunomikoto and given to us through Shisha.
*2 Kokoro: The thoughts and emotions that constantly move between the soul(unmei) and the physical body(jittai); if the kokoro is influenced by our temperament and other physical predispositions of our jittai, it becomes unbalanced; if it becomes one with our unmei, the kokoro becomes balanced and anchored.
*3 Unmei-jittai：Our inherent traits that are reflected in all aspects of our lives; our jittai affects our unmei and creates the movement of our kokoro; the unmei-jittai controls our life
*4 Unmei: The unique strengths given to each human being at the time of birth by Ōyamanezunomikoto that allows us to be useful in society, to help others, and to live a life of hope, meaning, and purpose.