My son, who lives far away from me, told me that he had job-related troubles. I have no idea whether I should encourage him to hang in there and do his best, or tell him that he may quit. What would be the right advice for me to give him as a parent? (Female in her 60s)
A
Grasp how a parent should get involved with the child from the teachings of Kami. Living separately does not make any difference to the bond between the parent and child or to the way they should get involved with each other. However, as it would make them tend to lack in conversations due to the physical distance, they would always need to keep in contact with each other.
Shinji ―Words from Kami(*1)―
Let me teach you the kokoro(*2) of the parents who watch over their child’s life.
The means to support their child who is on the way to self-reliance is for the parents to practice the teachings.
The teachings will correct the kokoro of the child and guide their life to the correct path.
It will make up for their lack of experiences, and the teachings of Kami will enhance the knowledge they learn and acquire in society to moral sense.
When you don’t see the situation of his workplace, giving specific advice or instruction is unlikely to get you anywhere. The first thing to do is to listen very carefully to what’s on his mind, and accept his feelings. Then, give him some advice to help him make right judgments on his own.
When talking with your child, the important things is for your emotions to be anchored. Your son will regain his calmness and composure when he feels the presence of the parent who understands him more than anyone and wraps him warmly. This will allow him to make judgements with no confusion.
The presence of a parent who is always calm-hearted gives a good example to a child. It will lead your son to acquire moral sense― a wise and right way of life as a human being―from the teachings of Kami.
*1 Kami: Great power above named Ōyamanezunomikoto; the source of all life
*2 kokoro:The thoughts and emotions that constantly move between the soul(unmei) and the physical body (jittai); if the kokoro is influenced by our temperament and other physical predispositions of our jittai, it becomes unbalanced; if it becomes one with our unmei, the kokoro becomes balanced and anchored.