My mother requires a catheterization surgery. But, she says she would rather die than have surgery. I am irritated with her attitude. (Female in her 50s)
A
Learning the teachings of Kami is about reassuring your involvement depending on your standing position. In this case, it is to grasp how to support your mother as a daughter. Once you see this and are clear about how much to involve, you will be confident and at ease, and calmly move forward in a right way without disrespecting your mother’s thoughts.
Shinji(*1)
It is up to the kokoro of each person to choose or not to choose to live with egoism as their mainstay of life.
But never forget the thought(kokoro) to cut ties
If you live with Kami’s teachings, you will see kokoro of others.
Understand that when you see it, the encounters will come to fruition; then, kokoro and body will harmonize.
If you have feelings against your mother, you cannot draw out the will to face the disease within her. Try to understand and feel her anxiety and the reason why she doesn’t want to have surgery. And, tell her how much you care about her and that you wish to spend more time together. As you try to do so and live based on Kami’s teachings, both you and your mother will see each other’s heart/thoughts/feelings. There, your mother would be encouraged that she is not alone, and have more energy to live.
You will be exhausted and even more irritated and discouraged if you just try to persuade her that she needs to have a surgery. Believe that you can draw her willingness to face her illness when she understands your honest feelings to wish her health. Don’t rush, but keep on practicing the teachings.
*1 Shinji: Words from Ōyamanezunomikoto, the source of all life.