I live alone after my husband passed away, and I’m struggling with my relationship with my neighbors. They ignore me, spread rumors about me, and their dog’s barking is constantly disruptive. I’m worried about the financial and physical difficulties of moving. My daughter, who is married and lives nearby, is busy with childcare and work and doesn’t get involved much. This is getting too much for me. (Female in her 70s)
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Humans cannot live alone. It is only by supporting one another that we can experience the joy of “serving” and “being served” by others and truly appreciate the happiness that comes from these connections. If we let our insecurities prevent us from interacting with others, we not only fail to utilize our own strengths, but we also miss out on the true essence of life.
The first step in building good relationships is with your family. Don’t try to handle everything on your own; deepen your connection with your daughter and her family. When doing so, be mindful not to let your own desires dominate the interaction. As a parent, show love and support to your busy daughter, helping her find peace of mind, and always remember to express your gratitude during your interactions. By valuing your daughter’s and her family’s feelings, they will in turn listen attentively to your concerns. The more you feel their love, the more anchored your heart will become, and your worries will fade away. This will foster a spirit of service, a willingness to generously contribute in any way you can. The courage to build good relationships with your neighbors will naturally emerge.
No one speaks ill of others without a reason. There may have been misunderstandings or disagreements, or you may have unintentionally offended the other person. Even without malicious intent, there must have been some reason on your part. Therefore, let’s interact with the neighbors with a generous and understanding attitude, recognizing that we are all in this together. Start by greeting them with a smile, saying things like, “Good morning,” or “Are you taking your dog for a walk again today?” By interacting with them with the intention of “deepening the relationship” and “making the other person feel happy,” they will gradually open up to you.
Shinji
In a world where things revolve around unmei-jittai (kokoro), it is necessary for human beings to acquire a kokoro of hōshi (to give back) and live.
A kokoro of hōshi blooms when placed in a family environment where a peaceful kokoro fosters.
By acquiring a kokoro of hōshi, human beings can make the best of its meeting with people and things; bringing each other’s unmei together, support each other, and complement each other bringing results.
In society; at the company you work, at school; in your community; and in your family environment, all your meetings will be made the best of.
The 70s are a time of maturity, a period when people, having lived long lives with rich experiences, are able to embrace others with great warmth and understanding. For children and grandchildren, the image of a grandmother who speaks kindly to others and brightens the lives of those around you is truly inspiring. This way of life serves as the best example for the family, leaving a shining legacy that illuminates the path of future generations.