I divorced my husband when my son was in elementary school, and I raised him as a single mother. He has been a recluse and withdrawn since graduating from high school, and is now 40 years old. I live on a pension, so I’m worried about the future. (Female in her 70s)
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There is something parents can do now to help their children live a happy life, and that is to make an effort to change the way you interact with the child.
If your desire for your son to change becomes stronger than your desire for yourself, you may find yourself asking him to at least help out around the house, blaming him by saying, “When are you going to work?”, or giving up by saying, “No matter what I say, it won’t work…” These feelings are conveyed to others and resonate with them, even if you don’t say them directly. If you harbor negative thoughts, the same feelings will be elicited in others. Therefore, whenever you notice these ways of thinking, offer kigan and try to correct them.
A mother is the trunk of the tree in a family. If the trunk is solid and stable, the children, who are the branches and leaves, will feel safe and will be able to open up. By being as gentle and accepting as possible, your son will be able to talk to you about anything.
When your child tells you about their pain, listen carefully and accept their feelings. Then, acknowledge their existence by letting them know their good qualities, and tell them that you trust them. Sometimes, ask them for help in moving heavy boxes, and express your gratitude and convey your appreciation for the help.
Every human being is born with the power of unmei to be useful to the world. This power is nurtured and brought out in a peaceful home. By repeatedly experiencing the joy and gratitude of family members, people become aware that “I too have the power of unmei to be useful to others.” This accumulation of experiences gives people confidence and the courage to go out into society.
Shinji
Family environment is a seedbed for the soul to foster true love, and to firmly connect the Kokoro no Michi.
By learning the teaching as a family, human beings’ (person’s) soul (kokoro) anchors, and the compassion (thought) to interact and support each other based on the principles, strengthens.
This compassion (kokoro) fosters the kokoro of hōshi and creates a human being (person) who is protected by their unmei and goes the correct path.
In addition to caring for your child, it is also important to broaden your child’s connections with society. You can get support by deepening ties with family and relatives, and by visiting welfare and government offices. If your child may have a mental illness, you should support them so that they can receive appropriate treatment.