I just had my child six months ago. My husband comes home late from work, so my parents take care of me and come to our house with baby clothes, toys, and food. I am grateful for the gifts they bring, but on the other hand, my parents are on a pension and don’t have much savings, so I’m worried about their life. Even if I tell them to spend the money on themselves, they keep bringing gifts every time. How should I tackle this situation? (Female in her 30s)
A
Even if parents think about their children and children about their parents, if they are not on same terms, they will end up at odds. By having conversations without leaving things as they are, you can deepen your bond without creating a gap in the relationship.
We worry about our parents’ lives because we care about them, but the true act of filial piety is to reassure them by letting them know how the husband and wife are living happily together. Keeping this in mind, try to let the parents know about things like, “Even though my husband is busy with work, he happily takes care of our children on his days off,” and “I had this concern, but my husband and I discussed it together and resolved it.” Just make sure to reassure them.
Then, parents will also be able to understand what they should help you and what they don’t need to be involved with. For parents, their grandchildren are cute and it’s a joy to take care of them. However, once you understand your daughter’s feelings, it will be in moderation without going overboard.
Shinji
In order to live life in merge with unmei, make use of the principles with your family (family environment), and cherish a family (environment) where the feelings come together.
All you need to do is to enjoy the conversation; Just exchange each other’s feelings.
Mutual understanding of feeling will bring empathy; the family will become an environment where the kokoro of harmony will naturally and gradually grow.
Even if you are worried about your parents’ finances, there is nothing but gratitude for their actions and the way they care for your child. If you approach each other with a top-down attitude of “I have to make them understand” you’ll go off the path.
Express your gratitude to your parents, and let them know that you genuinely care about them as their child.