(HK from Aichi Prefecture/60s/Female/Housewife)
My family consists; my husband and I, our son and his wife, and our two grandchildren. Our neighbors say, “I envy you…Your family is always so lively. You have such a nice family.” But that was just on the surface.
The Troubles My Son was Facing All By Himself
My son has always had bad lucks with his jobs. He would change jobs, and we started living together to make ends meet. It’s not that he doesn’t like working, but that he has trouble building good relationships with his superiors. Jealousy from others especially when he gets good results was something that always troubled him. At the end of last year, he finally opened up about the pain he was feeling inside.
What we found out then, was that my son didn’t talk to his wife about his feelings, and was pushed to the point where he really didn’t care what happened to his marriage—even if it ended in divorce. In retrospect, even though my son and his wife were in the same room, they didn’t talk to each other, and they were on their smartphones.
What was Tearing Our Kokoro Apart…
I realized that part of the reason for their situation had to do with us, parents. When my son blames his wife for not doing much housework, his dissatisfaction with his wife increased. Instead, I was busy doing housework and taking up the duties as the wife.
It seemed as if I was working for the sake of my family, and at the core of my heart was the thought that I would get things done faster and more accurate if I did it myself than to ask other family members to help me. As a result, as my bones had weakened due to cancer treatment, I slipped while doing laundry and suffered a compression fracture. Even with the corset, I still did housework. Before I knew it, my desire to make my family happy turned into an ego that kept me going thinking; “I have to do it.”
Determination to Initiate the Involvement
I honestly thought, “I want to value my family’s feelings rather than acting on my own strong ideas. Otherwise, our house would fall apart…” So, I became more involved. When I asked, “Can you help me?” my husband and my daughter in law happily helped. I was able to realize their kokoro that genuinely cared for me. When I couldn’t carry the luggage, my son would say, “Mom, I’ll take that.” Families support each other by calling out to each other. It seems like nothing, but this was what a real family should be.
Even if I couldn’t physically support my family, I thought I would try to provide emotional support by listening to each of my family’s feelings, asking, “What do you think?” Over time, my husband became calmer than before, and my daughter in law started talking to me about work. Best of all, even after the meal was over, everyone was still in the living room, and my son and his wife started talking about various things.
My son is now enthusiastic about his work and says, “I am enjoying every day.” As soon as he gets home, the family greets him saying “Okaerinasai (welcome home)”. My husband and my daughter in law who loves drinking alcohol sit together at the dinner table laughing. My lower back feels better and I can live without the corset. From a superficial family that looked close from the outside to a truly close family. If we didn’t know Kami’s teachings, we wouldn’t have the kind of family we have today. I am filled with joy as my family situation turned completely opposite from what it was before.
Finding the Principles Behind the Story from Shinji
Learn the teachings as a family, and strive to create a family environment that involves based on the principles.
Naturally and gradually, the unmei-jittai (kokoro) will come together, and become the family/home that lives in cooperation and harmonization.
In the hands of Kami, your life (kokoro) is protected, feel the meaning and purpose, and live out a life filled with joy.
Shinji that Kami reveals are a teaching on how to live life in order to be happy. Because it is an unchanging principle that relates to all people, if you live according to the teachings, your life will definitely change for the better.