(MW from Fukuoka Prefecture/50s/Female/Office Worker)
It was just me and mother. I went to work, leaving my mother, who was suffering from progressing dementia. When I got home exhausted from work, the house was in disrepair and there were so many things to do; such as cleaning and preparing meals. So, when my mother didn’t listen to me, I would say, “Listen to me!!” If I got upset, my mother would be furious too. I was exhausted both physically and mentally and wanted to give up and say, “I can’t do it anymore!” I felt like I was walking alone in a tunnel with no way to see the exit.
When I Opened Up About My Thoughts
Ever since I was young, I was unable to express my feelings, nor was I able to ask people for favors or rely on them. As I offered kigan about my suffering, I felt like I wanted to express my feelings to those around me. When I talked to Kyōkai staff, they recommended that I study Shinji every day. When I put it into practice, even though nothing had changed in reality, my anxiety disappeared and I started to move forward, thinking, “I just have to do my best.”
When I was able to rely on care managers, we were able to receive nursing care services for my mother. A few months later, it was decided that my mother would be admitted to a facility that had been said to be impossible for admission. My mother also adapted to the facility very well, and everything went smoothly.
The More I Honestly Relied on Kami…
My relief was short-lived, I was told of a possibility of a stomach cancer. Around that time, a passage from a Shinji in a letter I received from Kyōkai struck a strange chord in my kokoro. “Value every day of your life” “Kami accepts your thoughts and guides and protects everyone’s kokoro (life) to a time without regrets.” Reading this every morning, honestly believe and rely on Kami… As I offered kigan, I gained courage and believed that everything would be okay, and I began to live with a calmer mind.
The test result was “no abnormality”. Considering that my mother also suffered from stomach cancer, I probably would have followed the same path. Kami saved me… I felt a deeper sense of security that no matter what happens, Kami is with me.
Freed from a Sense of Strong Ego
Ever since I started studying Shinji, my kokoro has changed rapidly. When I caused trouble at work because I couldn’t use a computer properly, I thought I should quit my job. However, when I offered kigan that I wanted to be able to work hard and mustered up the courage to ask my co-workers, everyone kindly told me what to do. Gradually, I became more proficient at using it, and my desire to be useful increased.
Up until now, I would have struggled alone without consulting those around me, thinking, “I have to do my best.” This strong ego was making me suffer. Whether it’s nursing care or work, all I need to do is to support others and get support from others. The way I feel has changed, I have seen tangible results, and I have gained confidence in my life.
Life is Becoming More Fun to Live
When I read Shinji, I can naturally think, “The other person won’t change, so I should change myself.” And even when times are tough, I can be grateful and think “I can experience it because I’m alive.” The days when I don’t have to push myself or hold back are so much easier, and my mind and body feel lighter. I learned firsthand the importance of mental stability, and my days in hell have completely changed. Every day I feel that living life is enjoyable.
Finding the Principles Behind the Story from Shinji
Learn how to live from the teachings of Kami.
The more you learn, the more you see the kokoro as a person.
This leads to your life protected by all the meetings you have.
No one can live alone.
The more you can make use of the encounters you have, you can enjoy life.
Shinji that Kami reveals are a teaching on how to live life in order to be happy. Because it is an unchanging principle that relates to all people, if you live according to the teachings, your life will definitely change for the better.