(TT from Aomori Prefecture/60s/Male/Apple Farmer)
I grew up with a violent father, and the fear and hatred left a scar on my heart. I was able to let go of these feelings I carried with me after I became a shinja and found out that people have a fate that they cannot escape from. And I was able to think that my father must have suffered as much as I did. I never imagined that I would be able to witness my father’s final moments as we exchanged smiles and lived together as a parent and child.
I am Exactly Like My Father
“An inescapable fate” This is a temperament that has been inherited in our family’s Kokoro no Michi. And it is very difficult to tackle. Even though I told myself that I would never become like my own father, I was just like him—short-tempered and foul-mouthed, even though I didn’t turn to being violent like him. Even though I leave my shoes off the way I took it off, I yell at my family to line them up properly. And when someone passes me while I’m driving, I feel like I have to get back at them. I didn’t care if my wife was scared sitting in the passenger seat; I just had to get back at them. I was living my life based on my emotions.
It was around the time I sent my father away that I began to feel strongly that “I can’t continue to live like this” and “I don’t want to leave anything bad in my kokoro.” So at Hikari no Yakata and at home, I studied Kami’s teachings. That’s when I realized how I was living such foolish ways. What became clear was that the husband and wife are the foundation, how you live your finite life is important, and I have lived a life that invited illness, accidents, and disasters. First of all, I needed to fix my short-tempered kokoro… I saw that there was a complete lack of compassion and warm interest in people. When I realized that, I decided to switch gears and take the teachings more seriously and practice it more seriously.
When I Stand in Their Shoes and See…
My wife and I run an apple orchard together and are always together. I always complained about how she would cut the branches without asking me; but now, what I see with my eyes, is my wife working hard. When I thanked her by saying, “You must be tired,” and “Thank you,” she said, “You must be even more tired.” When I think about my wife, warm feelings return to me. My fatigue melted away, my heart felt warm, and I deeply felt that being a husband and wife is such a wonderful thing.
As I began to express my caring words to my second son, he began to talk to me about various things. One day, my son said to me, “My hands got rough and blistered from work,” so I replied, “That must be painful. The skin on your hands must be thin.” My son and my wife probably found my response funny, and everyone smiled. Even when my daughter and her husband came for New Year’s, and when we stayed with my eldest son who lives in another prefecture at Hikari no Sato, we were surprisingly able to talk to each other, and it made me feel that we were all on the same page. Now that I am able to enjoy the interaction between parent and child that I was not able to experience with my own father, I feel that I have been greatly saved from my “inescapable fate.”
I am Now Confident in My Way of Life
It’s strange to me that I no longer feel irritated about everything. Even if my family is late getting ready, I am patient enough to wait and say, “It’s okay, take your time.” I don’t get irritated even if the car in front of me drives slowly. Even the most difficult tasks can now be overcome as if it were just a walk in the park. I never thought I would be able to spend such a peaceful time just by not worrying about my surroundings and not letting my mind being pushed and pulled in all directions.
How much did I make my family feel bad by living my life based on my emotions? Even though I yelled at her and made her cry, my wife didn’t try to change me or leave me, and she continued to treat me with the kokoro and spirit of “I just want us to be a husband and wife who get along well with each other.” I will never forget my gratitude to my wife and children.
I want my wife to tell me one day, “It was a reward for me to be with you.” I want to walk through life with my wife without regrets and leave many good things to our children. Anyone can do it if they live according to the teachings of Kami who changed me! I can say this with strong confidence.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tell us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
Learn the teachings as husband and wife; and strive to become a married couple who can leave good elements behind in their Kokoro no Michi.
This feeling is what will firmly connect the husband and wife’s kokoro and help foster an even stronger love that is true.
Human beings will experience happiness as they place themselves in a harmonious family environment where the jittai is corrected among each other.
Unmei of each other will increasingly come together, complement each other, and support each other leading to a well life lived with meaning and purpose.