No matter how much I do for others, I have never been rewarded and always felt sad. Even now, I am looking after my grandchildren and supporting my sister’s family in hopes of making things easier for everyone, but they have never said a word to express their gratitude. Moreover, when I am having a difficult time, no one helps me and I feel like I am only wasting my time on others. (Female in her 60s)
A
If you don’t get rewarded for what you do for others, it may be that what you do with good intentions and what the other person wants are not in sync with each other. If you get involved in something they don’t necessarily want, the other person will feel bothered instead.
In order to help others and be appreciated, it is necessary to accurately understand their feelings—what they want. Before acting on your own thoughts or assumptions, try asking them directly; “Do you want me to do this?” or “I can help you if you need it.”
Shinji
Learn the teachings of Kami; accept the thoughts/feelings of family members, friends, and relatives, and be a person who gives back.
This feeling will deepen the encounter; and you can make the best of your presence.
As you learn the teachings of Kami, your perspective on things expands and your kokoro becomes more at ease. Gradually and naturally, you will be able to feel the other person’s feelings.
If you are a family member, it is essential to take into account the principle of standing tree and engage in a way that is appropriate for your position/role. When it comes to engaging your child and the child’s spouse, you should relax and watch over them as parents. In other words, lend a helping hand when asked; if you start helping without permission or interfere in their family matters, you can be considered too involved.
People live by supporting and complementing each other. Be it with family or friends, it is important to be willing to help as needed. There, you will become someone who is loved and respected.