My husband does everything in his own way without consulting his family. As a result, we have had many arguments and I have even considered a divorce. Recently, our child encouraged me to divorce, and I am unsure what to do. (Female in her 50’s)
A
The purpose of learning the teachings of Kami is to walk a life with no regrets. To achieve this, what is essential is a harmonious family, which is the foundation of happiness. Therefore, although you have been troubled by your husband’s words and deeds for many years, you need to think very carefully about if there is anything you can do, based on the teachings, before deciding to divorce him.
Shinji
Home/family―it is an environment essential for human beings to live out a life with no regrets.
Knowing the truth and the principle of home/family, now is the time for shinja to strive to create a family where its members live by the principles.
The teachings will bring the kokoro of family members together as one, and strengthen the kokoro(affection) to support and be enhanced as they live.
The kokoro resonates with each other. When negative aspects of the other are manifested, your mental attitude toward them is one of the causes. Reflect on what kind of thoughts and feelings you have had toward your husband as you have interacted with him. Have you respected him and recognized his goodness and strength? Haven’t you expected too much of him like, “I want him to be this way,” or blamed him like “Why cannot he behave this way?”
When a family is compared to a tree, the husband is the roots that support the kokoro of the family members; the wife is the trunk that kindly connects the kokoro of the family members; the child is the branch. When each family member understands his/her place/role, mutually supports and is enhanced, they get along well with one another. When you correct the way you interact with your family based on this, the relationship between husband and wife will go on to change for the better. The heart to understand each other will sprout, and you will be able to reach a compromise.
When you try to harmonize with your family members this way, it will allow you not only to elevate your own life but also to leave behind good traces of living in your posterity. In order not to leave behind any regrets in your life, now is the time to learn the teachings and reflect on your relationship with your husband based on them.