(SK from Hiroshima Prefecture/60s/Female/Part-Time Worker)
People have exalted and praised me for having such a carefree life for staying single for 70 years. I have never experienced pain or any sort of major illnesses. But last year, I was diagnosed of having pancreatic cancer.
I was told that it’s not too late for a surgical treatment. And so I made the decision to move forward with surgery. But as they opened up to look inside, they found out that the tumor had made inroads into the vain and the doctors were unable to remove the cancerous tumor. From then on, I had to start chemo therapy.
Looking Deep into My Kokoro
I remembered hearing at benkyōkai that illnesses root from your kokoro.
I’ve been in retail for 40 years since I was 22. And I have been aware of my own tendency to judge people and have opinions about them. Perhaps there is something about me; but people tend to come strong at me or make me do a lot of things. So inside, I used to think “I don’t like this person” and dislike. I was always worried that I would end up disliking people in general. But inside, I didn’t like who I was.
Realizing from Shinji That I Was Going Off the Path
I read Kyōkai books while I was in the hospital. And one Shinji strongly resonated with me.
Consumed by people’s words, you don’t see that you are going off the path.
A life that goes off the path will lower your jittai, and suppress your unmei from being one with the movement of your kokoro.
This was exactly how I have lived. The past 40 years of my life has been off from the path. I thought people made me do things and blamed me…but in fact, I was doing the same thing—maybe not physically, but with my kokoro. For instance, there was a time when I sold a wedding dress to a customer who said, “I need a lower-priced dress because I’ll only wear it once.” My reaction to that inside was; “Why would you want to be so cheap on your special day?” I wouldn’t say out loud, but my values and views were strongly surfaced.
Interacting with Family with My Modified Kokoro
I sincerely thought that Kami was telling me to correct my kokoro and giving me that opportunity. And the first group of people I wanted to face with my new kokoro was my family. Although I am single, I have an older brother and an older sister. They are older than me so it was hard to open up to them about my disease, but the first thing they said to me was, “I’m glad to know what’s going on.” I felt their thoughtful feelings to care about the youngest of the siblings, and somehow felt very secure.
I went through 31 chemo therapies. It was a strong medication that no one has tried over 20 times. But the only side effects were mild diarrhea. The nurses were surprised and told me, “I’ve never seen anyone who hasn’t felt pain going through this therapy.” Chemo worked great on me and the results were promising too. And the doctor said, “I think we can move forward with surgery.”
Changes of My Kokoro Bringing the Miracles in Form
The surgery dates were all set. And as I went through my pre-operation check-up, the cancer had disappeared completely. The doctors told me that there was no need for surgery. I was extremely grateful and happy.
It’s amazing how much your kokoro affects your life… I truly feel that we need to take care of the ‘kokoro’ we were individually given from Kami; and try not to hurt your own and people’s kokoro.
I am looking forward to my new life with my new kokoro.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tells us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
Human beings who live with kokoro (unmei-jittai); the more you elevate your jittai, the more your life will be protected by your unmei.
The more you gain awareness about life through the teachings and cherish the encounters with people, people’s jittai will be raised and true health will be achieved.
A person who lives knowing the truth about the spiritual world will gain an elevated jittai.