A customer got really upset with me for giving suggestions on some new design products. I thought the customer would be happy to know, but it turned out the opposite. I am upset that my manager was being unreasonable with me too. I talked to my husband about it, but he doesn’t seem to care. (Female in her 40s)
A
There must be a reason why people become upset and show their anger. From the customer’s point of view, your approach may not have been satisfying and acceptable. Be humble about it, and take this experience as a chance to reflect on anything that needs to be fixed on your side. Then, this unpleasant experience with a customer may lead to happier consequences.
With a calm mind, let’s reflect on the kokoro you had when you were approaching the customer at the time. Was there any part of your kokoro that was looking down on the customer? Were you listening to the customer—what they were looking for? Was there any part of you that was just pushing your preference—not leaving any consideration for their preferences?
Work is about being considerate about the other person’s feelings or about being able to answer to their needs. And this is the kokoro of hōshi that Kami always teaches us. When you are aware of this kokoro and interact with people, you become more aware of other people’s kokoro.
Hence your attitude toward your manager might become more appreciative about the advice he/she gave you. And at the same time, you may become more positive about learning from mistakes and doing better the next time.
Shinji
Learn the teachings and the more you acquire a deep understanding from the principles, human beings will strive to become a person who will give back the strengths of their unmei to society.
And the more a person strives, kokoro (unmei) will be honed, and the kokoro (jittai) to accept and gently embrace all people and things will start to sprout.
The strength of unmei will be drawn out; a person (presence) who is loved and trusted by many—this is the kokoro (life) of a person who lives by the principle of work.
The kokoro of hōshi is important to be practiced at home too. Would a husband want to hear his wife’s angry remarks about something as soon as he comes back home? Conversation between husband and wife is important. But we must not misunderstand that taking out your emotions is not equivalent to having a conversation. It is important to communicate your feelings with calmness. Be considerate—if your husband looks tired, then it might be better to choose another day to talk to him. This kind of consideration is important to create mutuality.
It is vital that you establish this kokoro of hōshi within you. This is because nothing can be a mutual conversation if you are only thinking about yourself. No matter what the situation is, or no matter who you are dealing with, we should be considerate and be thoughtful about the other person before you. A person who is thoughtful about others are treated the same way from others—hence the relationship at work, or at home with family will always be filled with love, trust, and with mutual respect.