My friend confronted me that my words and my actions I took 10 years ago had hurt him/her. I was devastated to hear this and feeling down because of it. I don’t think I can recover from this shock. (Female in her 60’s)
A
You cannot change what happened in the past, but the meaning that the incident hold can be changed by how you perceive it. In order for this incident to become a stepping stone for you to spiritually grow, now is the time to put the teachings of Kami into practice.
First of all, accept the truth with sincerity and with a cool head. Taking the other person’s personality and your way of life into consideration, try to reflect on the situation objectively to see it from both sides of the story. Or to sit down and talk to your friend is another way of dealing this situation. Then, you will be able to realize different things like; “I see, I might have been lacking consideration on this…” “This is a complete misunderstanding.” “Why is this coming out as a problem after all these years?” And perhaps you will be able to see whether you should apologize again, or whether you should explain your thoughts on the situation. You will be confident in knowing what actions you should take and how you should involve with your friend in the future.
Shinji
Spend each day, reflecting on your kokoro (situation) along with the views of society you see through the teachings.
Your feelings of doubts will gradually dissipate, and you will become a person who can see their own boundaries and positions and be responsible with what’s expected in your role.
As Kami sees, your kokoro (conviction) to abide the teachings is weak.
The kokoro is pushed and pulled by people’s words, the feelings to live according to the principles of the path becomes swayed.
Having a kokoro that is bright and strong, strive to become a person who walks through their life in one with their unmei.
What’s important here is to always reflect upon yourself and try to see yourself and the surroundings objectively. A life in one with the unmei, is a life knowing your own parameters, and to live accordingly to your current position and what is expected of you at the moment. When you are aware of this, you will less likely be saying too much, less likely to have high expectations, or less likely be too shy and not saying anything. You will be able to get along with all sorts of people in a very peaceful way. If your kokoro is positive and strong, your kokoro will not overly be shifted and be swayed. Even if sad things happen, you will be able to take that as an opportunity to get something out from the problem you face.