When my husband doesn’t like something, he would suddenly throw things or use abusive languages. I cannot help but to think the intensity of his actions come from a developmental disorder. (Female in her 30s)
A
In a day and age where many information can be easily searched, you can probably determine the name of an illness by their symptoms. However, the most important thing here is not to find out the name of the illness, but to live happy as husband and wife. And the kokoro of husband and wife coming together is the most inevitable thing.
When a person takes actions and say things with much intensity, their kokoro is unstable. If you can have honest and truthful conversations, and a family environment to support each other, the kokoro will most definitely find itself to ease and anchor. Now is the time to build a family environment like this together with your husband.
In doing so, you must initiate to become more open towards your husband and confront him in a calm way that you get scared when he throws things or that it’s painful when he says mean things. You must never be consumed by his actions and words and say things to get back at him like; “Don’t throw that vase. It’s expensive!!” or “You are at fault too!” You must interact with each other with generosity and warmness.
Shinji
Learn the principles of a harmonious family environment from the teachings.
The involvement between family members will naturally deepen, and will harmony will grow.
With harmony, humans will raise their jittai and will walk a like in one with their unmei.
A place and environment where harmony exists will suppress the bad things and draw out the goodness of both the kokoro and body. Learn the teachings together as husband and wife, care for each other, and remember to bring the kokoro of each other together as one.
With that being said, if your husband needs some sort of treatment, accept it as an illness of the both of you and face the treatment together. Even with an illness, you will be able to spend each day with a positive kokoro.