I have raised my two children all by myself. Now they are both working. But I cannot help being worried about their future, because they hate each other and don’t get along. (Female in her 60s)
A
Tell your children honestly and sincerely about how you feel about the reality that the hearts of the siblings don’t come together. Let them know what you expect of them as their mother. The importance is to do so when your two children are both with you. When they see their parent’s wishes, they will try not to cause you to worry any more.
However, it may take some time for them to reconcile, if they have been at odds for many years. Maybe there will be some misunderstandings arising from time to time. Therefore, you need to keep on telling them how you feel about them as their parent, until all the family can get along well.
Shinji
To practice the teachings as a parent―this is the way to support your children.
The teachings will correct the kokoro(unmei-jittai) of your children, guiding their life to the correct path.
The role of a mother is to connect the kokoro of the family together warmly. Even if you are a single parent, you should not overexert yourself and play the role of the father of your children. If you do, it will make your children mentally unstable, making it difficult for their hearts to come together. Just focus on your role as a mother.
Whether it was bereavement or divorce, the importance is to let your children cherish the existence of their father. Every now and then, tell them about good things about their father so that they will feel good about him. Doing so will show them the correct way of living as a mother.
The way we live will be passed down from the parents to the children, and to the grandchildren. Therefore, as a parent, always keep your emotions stable, and relate to your children with an anchored heart. Get involved with them so that they will see each other’s good points, support and be enhanced by each other.