(NK from Kagawa Prefecture/Female/40s/Fruit Farmer)
What attracted me to marry my husband was his willingness to conquer things without being overly consumed. However, as soon as I married him, my impression for him completely changed. He became so foreign to me—making it difficult to understand what he was thinking. For instance, he would smoke his cigarette in front of our son who has health issues. But no matter how much I asked, he never stopped. Fighting in front of our children was a usual thing. Then, I found out what my son wrote as his wish for Tanabata—a star festival. He wrote, “I wish my family would be happy and close.” I was heartbroken to see his wish.
My Illness Rooted in the Family Environment
Three years ago, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. And I happened to open a Kyōkai book that talked about the workings of health. And it said; When the family are close and their feelings come together, the kokoro will be healthy. I immediately thought, “My kokoro was unhealthy because I was always fighting! And that is why my body became unhealthy too.” This is when my daily life started to change.
“Why would you do this?!” I would shout out my emotions and never tried to listen to my husband’s words. I needed to ‘understand,’ before asking someone else to understand me. So, I began my process of change from trying to understand the other person. And I truly meant it from the bottom of my heart.
But my husband is a man of very little words. So, I made my effort not to miss the little emotions I could read off from his facial expressions. And I offered my kigan, so I can do that with the help of Kami. Then one day, I realized my husband’s sad face as I was blaming him with strong words. I immediately apologized to him with sincerity and that made me feel really good and light hearted.
My husband used to never react to the meals I made. I realized that was obviously because I was only making meals focused on my son—not my husband. I assumed that since my husband is an adult, he doesn’t need nutritious food to grow. But I thought I should make my husband’s favorite, rich flavored simmered veggies and fish for once. Then he said, “This is delicious!” for the very first time. And it made me truly happy and pleasant.
The Consequences of Husband and Wife’s Kokoro Coming Together
I rediscovered my husband’s generosity. Although he still continues to speak very little words, he would worry about my health, and take good care of our son. I believe, I started to become more aware of his kindness and gentleness that he already had.
As my husband and I were both doing farm work, there was a moment when I struggled doing a task. So I immediately asked my husband for help. And he replied, “I think this should be fine.” And as I did what he told me to do, things moved smoothly. It was reassuring to find out that his charms were unchanged from the time we got married. Surprisingly, my husband would tell me that working on tasks on his own would cause little mistakes. But doing it together, works out a lot better. And he would ask me for my opinions lately.
When we were in constant fights, my son used to often get sick. But lately, he is a lot better and healthier. My treatment for the cancer is going well, and just need a follow up for now. It has been a long journey, but our family has really changed. I would like to continue to strive to achieve a family that my son wished for.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tells us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
True health exists in a family where the family’s kokoro (unmei), who shares the jittai, come together and help each other.
Know this truth about the principles of health, and now is the time to create a family that lives by the teachings.