(YG from Yokohama City/30s/Female/Housewife)
When we were newlyweds about 5 years ago, people used to tell me how my marriage seem difficult full of problem. I used to think, “Why do people say that? I love my husband.”
What Does It Mean for the Husband and Wife to Be One?
Being married as husband and wife, and spending most of our time together, you start to see the things you didn’t see when you were just dating. My husband listens to me, but when he has an opinion, he will not accept me at all. And plus, he never says ‘thank you.’ Gradually, little bits of complaints for him started to pile up inside me.
I instantly grew pale when they said the husband and wife has to be one, in a benkyōkai I attended at Kyōkai. Although we are husband and wife, my life and my husband’s life were completely separate. I always felt I wanted to do something for my husband, but never had the idea that my husband and I were walking a journey together called life. When my father passed away at an early age, I had no choice but to support my family growing up. And after getting married with my husband, I always thought I had to do the work to create the family instead to create it together with my husband.
I tend to push myself overboard even if people tell me not to work too hard. I learned from the teachings of Kami how to put 80% of me and rely the rest on my husband. This was to one with my husband. My kokoro started to feel lighter and less pressured thanks to my husband who helps me with things around the house and with child rearing without complaints. In return, I supported my husband when he was busy with work. My husband said, “I was feeling emotionally weak (with work), so I felt happy and almost cried to mommy’s thoughtful acts of kindness. Thank you.”
The Best Thing About Walking Our Life Together
As my first daughter came to an age to start pre-school, our opinions diverted between 2 years or 3 years of pre-k. I thought, “You don’t know anything because you don’t spend time with her during the day time.” But as I tried so hard not to bend my opinion, I suddenly realized that I was the same in being stubborn with my feelings—not just my husband. So, I decided to ask my husband about his opinion and we decided together on one answer. Surprisingly, we were left with no bad feelings for each other.
If I didn’t have the teachings of Kami, I don’t think our marriage would have lasted a year. But lately our friends would say, “I love the vibes between the both of you,” “There’s a lot to learn about how you foster your children.” Many people were worried about us at the early stage of our marriage. But just 5 years have transformed us to a married couple that people envy. And this all came gradually and naturally. I may have taken a different path. But I am grateful and filled with feelings of gratitude to be given this life that I am walking today.
Heeding the Shinji to Understand the Reasons for the Joys Experienced
Shinji is the universal principle (truth), and can also be the guidance of life that foresees the future. Please feel the wonders of a life that flows exactly in a way the Shinji tells us when you live with the teachings of Kami.
Shinji
A life walked together; You can overcome everything that happens on every occasion when you learn the teachings to realize, gain awareness, talk to each other, and support each other.
Each and every incident will transform to be a great experience, and become the direction that family should take.
Be a couple that takes care and values the environment brought about from a harmonious family.