My daughter is a single mom, and she’s constantly asking me for money. I do my best to try to help her, because we’ve had bad experiences in the past when she borrowed money from other people. But we are also working from paycheck to paycheck. And at the same time, my husband can’t stop drinking alcohol. What should I do? (Female in her 60s)
A
It is always better not to make any decisions on your own, but to make sure you talk it over with your family. Share your point of views, and discuss what would be the best way for all of the family members to live comfortably. Decisions should be made together as a family.
Shinji (*1)
To correct the jittai; learn the teachings with the family, know each of your role, and deepen the correct involvement.
The teachings will bring the kokoro of family members to one and strengthens the kokoro to live to support and to complement.
When problems arise, it is important for each member of the family to reflect on how they are involving with the rest of the family. Exchanging multiple conversations will help you see their views and come to a better mutuality of the current situation.
In doing so, you might see the hidden effort your daughter has been endeavoring, or you might see the suffering she has been going through that you never realized. But on the other hand, these conversations might also help see the unnecessary expenses that can be put to savings instead. Looking over the daily expenses will help you find the right budget that fits your current situation.
By understanding your role in the family and by cooperating to work together, kokoro will anchor. And your determination to protect the family will not wither away. True meaning behind supporting the family underlies in how you play your role to support the kokoro of the family.
*1 Shinji: The principles and teachings that are the word of Ōyamanezunomikoto and given to us through Shisha.