My daughter who went through an entrance exam for middle school did not get into the school she wanted. There were some schools she got into, but both her and I are very saddened by the result after all the effort we made. My husband is getting frustrated with me because I can’t let go of this sad feeling. (Female in her 40s)
A
Human beings cannot predict the future. And for that reason, none of us know which path is the right one to choose. There are those who get into their first-choice school but end up feeling very disappointed. In other words, happiness is not always getting what you want. It is better to accept this truth, and focus on the things you must do now as a mother.
Shinji (*1)
The kokoro (*2) of parents and child gets twisted around by results when forms and particular ways become their hopes and dreams.
There are so many that feel heartbroken and saddened from not achieving what they hoped for.
The kokoro of a family sprouts in harmony where conversations are abundant among the family members, and where the husband and wife are in good terms.
It is difficult for children to accept the truth. It is important that you and your husband talk to each other and be on same grounds about how to support your child in this situation. The parents need to be together as one to guide your child so that she can gain positive feelings and move forward from this. This is what the parents need to do right now.
Perhaps acknowledging your child’s effort, her regrets, and listening to her feelings in a good conversation may be needed. Your child’s kokoro will become strong and positive when she realizes that her parents are always by her side and cheering for her achievements. Even if it wasn’t her first-choice, perhaps there is a meaning behind her encounter with the school she got into. To make it a better start of her middle-school life, it is better to help her find the positives about the new environment than to start off with a negative mindset.
*1 Shinji: The principles and teachings that are the word of Ōyamanezunomikoto and given to us through Shisha.
*2 kokoro: The thoughts and emotions that constantly move between the soul (unmei) and the physical body (jittai); if the kokoro is influenced by our temperament and other physical predispositions of our jittai, it becomes unbalanced; if it becomes one with our unmei, the kokoro becomes balanced and anchored.