My husband, who is timid, refuses to consult a doctor although he is in poor shape. He seems to be feeling unwell at home, and goes to work despite poor physical conditions. No matter how much I ask him to go consult a doctor, he will not. What can I do? (Female in her 50s)
A
Staying healthy in mind is essential for the physical condition to recover. This is possible when the family environment is a heartwarming place where its members’ hearts find peace. Learn the teachings of Kami as husband and wife, and strive to put them into practice together.
Shinji(*1)
Deepen your conversations with your family and show them your gratitude from your own accord.
Be a person who shows the dignity of finite life to each family member through your existence.
Then the preciousness of a family that lives by the teachings will be shared with the kokoro(*2) of each family member.
It is only during this present life time that you can live your finite lives as families. When you see it this way, you will understand how precious and irreplaceable each and every moment you spend together is. Understanding this finiteness of life, what you should do as a wife is to positively interact with your husband and tell him how much you care for him. Instead of just asking him to consult a doctor, let him know your true feelings of love―the reason why you want him to consult a doctor; how much he means to you; how much you wish to live long together. Then your husband will naturally be motivated to undergo necessary treatments and get well, for the sake of his beloved family.
True health means to have one’s kokoro always flowing. When one’s kokoro is light and positive, the physical condition will stabilize too. Knowing that the family members have their own important roles to support one another’s hearts, support your husband with a kind and gentle heart that a wife should have.
*1 Shinji: Words from Ōyamanezunomikoto, the source of all life.
*2 kokoro:The thoughts and emotions that constantly move between the soul(unmei) and the physical body (jittai); if the kokoro is influenced by our temperament and other physical predispositions of our jittai, it becomes unbalanced; if it becomes one with our unmei, the kokoro becomes balanced and anchored.