(HY Fukushima Prefecture/50s Female/Housewife)
Although I intended to worry my son…
My son who just went to the university outside the prefecture returned home since he had to study at home remotely due to the Corona virus. By taking unusual online class, he could not make friends and tended to shut himself in his room…. I was at a loss what to speak to him.
When I talked to my husband, he said that “It is unavoidable that he feels stress since he stays home for a long time.” His words made me startle. I reflected my kokoro whether I had enough concern towards my son so that he could feel ease at home.
Looking back in the past, I worried too much and looked into my son’s face more than necessary, and avoided him unconsciously when he was in a bad mood. I intended to care for my son, but instead, I made an uncomfortable atmosphere by building a wall on my side. I decided to be there for my son with a kind kokoro as a mother without overwhelmed by his words or attitude.
A Light Shined to My Kokoro When I Decided not to Look Away
One day, my son seemed irritated. I used to keep a distance until he calmed down, however, this time was different. I tried to visit my son’s room to ask him what was going on.
At first, he seemed to want me to leave the room as soon as possible. However, he gradually talked that the study was so difficult and even though he played game to get rid of stress, he vented to his family when he could not get rid of the stress by himself. “You had a hard time.” “You were in a serious situation.” When I accepted his words, he calmed down gradually as he said “I will try again” He seemed to regain the courage.
The next day, my son came to a living room gladly as he carried his PC with him. And he showed me the homework which was just finished it with a help from his father and said “Here, it is.” I asked him and found he finished it as he was learned from his father. The sense of fulfillment of my son was really happy for me and I instinctively said “Great! You did well!”
Through this experience, I was sure that I could get a chance to deepen the tie by facing each other even though I worry about my family. All I can do now is to advance to be the family who could talk anything to each other as a family.